Speaking of which, Spacehog is touring again. And I found this out because they reblogged a video of theirs I posted to tumblr. Cause in my wild young concert-a-week-going-days, I never saw them live. Now? Tickets for next week! (Was teching during last night's HousingWorks show, though, which is too bad, because HW is cool and generally a good thing.)
But yeah, last night was really a microcosm of how together and wonderful and amazing my life is right now. Surrounded by funny, talented, and caring people, confident in myself for once (finally!), and generally living my life. Really living (not just existence, lol). I'm good with how I am, and getting better. Doing my best not to become overconfident (which has never even been a concern before). Trying to be nice and genuine and kind and real and honest with everyone I meet; really engage. Wring the fuck out of life like a parched man with a damp cloth. I'm only here for so long; I may not be able to make life a tiny bit better for everyone I meet, but I can damn sure try. Also: I now count myself among those people. Which is nice; I'm not used to treating me like a person.
I still have plenty to work on. I'm still terrible at socialization. Very bad at engaging people, like answering questions with more than one word, asking questions of other people to encourage them to talk (rather than just trying to silently glean everything from observation). Better about reaching out to people, like, Hey, I'm thinking of you and also thinking you're awesome, hope you're having a good day and/or hey let's get dinner and just spend some time together. I can't help but feel like I must come across as closed, standoffish, or just aloof. Though I'm definitely aloof. Maybe oblivious is a better word.
Last night, on my way home, an off-duty MTA guy started chatting with me as I got up to disembark at my station. Wanted to ask me about the Culture novel I was reading and what I thought. Which, well, what are the odds? At 1am? On a Tuesday? I didn't have much to say, but then I was tired and we were pulling in to my stop. Still, it was a cool thing that happened and all in all, I felt pretty good last night.