It's a learned discipline
You cannot escape this
The feelings can't escape,
just hold them in
I love them all
I do not hate
But I can't stand
So it just negates
My goddamn fucking family
I cannot stand them
I want to hide in the basement
and just play pool
I can hide there from endless questions
So I don't have to act like a fool
I have no place else to go
So I keep ending up back here
"But you'll need them some day"
some month, some fucking year
Till then I must pay
This insurance policy of pain
Because if I tell them how I feel
Things will never be the same
I could never go back again
Just smile and nod
As they patronize about school
And failing out and I just take
The yarns that they spool
All these tainted lines
Wrapped around my heart
All these blasted mines
To blow me apart
Nothing but feinted whines
Served a la carte
With some muddy Valentines
And then the arguments start
This is not a drill
This is not a test
Sometimes I wish I could kill
Sometimes I think I'm blessed
Either way,
it bound to end
With funeral expenses
and the grief they send
We'll gather together
So many last times
And never speak of
Those everyday crimes...
...fade...
