So yeah, improv is kicking ass. Work is improving, too. My boss is feeling more and more confident with giving me additional responsibilities (and was impressed when I requested ownership of a particular project at today's meeting). She also talked about the general possiblities (more an air right now) for advancement. And man, it feels nice to feel... competent at a job? It's a combination of a lot of things; finally the right mix of medications, some hardcore commitment, being alone (and therefore self-reliant), and just a general sense of confidence (what is this unfamiliar feeling?). That last bit is in part, thanks to improv. Confidence, practice in being human, and also a sense of community. I matter to people, and they like me for who I am, not what I can do for them. And there's an appreciation for my performances, so hey, I don't suck! Don't care if I get famous; don't expect to. As long as I can keep people laughing (and thinking), I'm happy.
I'm working on developing my own (hopefully regular, maybe even weekly?) improv show (which may require me to invent a whole new 'form'). More on that later. But yeah, it's going to be a bit think-y, or at least with a philosophical (and maybe slightly Buddhist?) undercurrent.
I also saw my mother last night for the first time since this whole thing. She asked if we were friends again, and all I could say was, "We'll see." But she came to my performance (whether or not it was an excuse to just see me is irrelevant, to me), and she only had one criticism, which didn't apply to me (though I had to clarify that when she said "you" she really meant "some of them" meaning my teammates). Only one criticism! Right on.