The Enemy of the Good (eideteker) wrote,
The Enemy of the Good

  • Music:

Sooner or later...

...your legs give way, you hit the ground.

It's just a blip, but I'm stressed. Stressed out, even. Friday, my work laptop went kablooey. I was home, in Boston, supposedly doing, you know, a full fifth of that week's work. Nope. Gone. Lost time. It turns out it was only the display. But I missed my Friday status report. Last night, after the bus ride back from Boston (ugh, especially after the relative "OMG niiiice" of the Acela train), I came into the office to make sure the laptop would work on the dock. And to send out the status report that was due on Friday. I got home after midnight, and got to sleep after 2AM.

This morning, there was a noise outside like someone performing surgery on Megatron without anaesthetic. Or was it inside? It's like the drilling was inside my skull, and nothing could muffle it. For whatever reason, the work on my grandmother's building all has to be done between 7:30 and 8:30 every morning. After that, it's relatively quiet. Because of the heat, I suppose? Whatever. It's fricking annoying. Especially after working so hard to acclimate myself to natural waking in the morning so I wouldn't need to be jarred awake by an alarm clock. Instead, I get low-frequency brown notes at 4,000 dB.

I normally listen to music on my phone (which is also my mp3 player) while in the shower. This morning, I was rudely disturbed by a phone call. On my phone. What the hell. No one calls me unless it's some company wanting something. So I dry myself off and listen to the voicemail. It's my bank notifying me of fraud on my card, yay! So that's why my debit card was declined and I had to scrape together cash to pay for dinner last night. Once I got into the office, I logged into my account to check it. Some asshole in Georgia was testing my spoofed debit card at gas stations. Jerks. So I e-mail my boss to update her on the laptop and the fact that I need to run to the bank to handle this shit (and get cash).

I get back to the office, grab some food (it's what's for meal) and run into my boss. She's like, sucky way to start the week, huh? And I'm like yup. Then I get a txt message from my mom like 10 min later saying she's being taken to the hospital cause she tripped and fell at work. I txt her back and tell her to let me know if she needs anything, thinking I can hop on the PATH and take my motorcycle to check on her if needed. So it's like, whatever focus I had at work is GONE. Meanwhile, tech support comes to look at my laptop, confirms the display is fried (conveniently when my boss comes over, so she at least sees I'm not BSing any of the bad stuff going on). Mom txts back that they found a slight fracture on her x-ray. And I'm thinking, assholes who made me close my debit card. And I'm thinking, it could be way worse, but my mom's definitely getting older. It really highlights the need for me to get back down here. She can't rely just on my brother. I'm not going to be that kid who lets the other guy (my brother, in this case) be responsible for a parent. My uncles (and their wives) did that to my mother with her mother. That's not my game. Mom and I have our friction/disagreements, but she's still my mom. And I'm thinking stupid company who won't hire me full-time with benefits so I can afford to move here once and for all and just get it over with. And won't spring for a decent laptop for me, so I can work from Boston without worry.

Yeah, so angsty fighty emotions. It's good to know this doesn't all just magically go away after adolescence. I'm still worthless at work for the day. And the next thing on my to-do list—scheduling meetings with 235198 people—requires me to have a working laptop (well, it's pretty important) to lead the meetings with. So I'm not really happy about trying to schedule meetings when I may or may not have a working laptop screen. So, even though I'm here, I want to call in dead. Walk over to my boss's cube, and say: "I'm dead. Going home." Then hide under covers and read comic books by flashlight.

Of course, I can't buy more comic books without my debit card (unless I want to carry ungodly amounts of cash to buy 4-5 more collections with; and remember, I have to go IN to the bank and wait on long lines to get cash now arrrrgh). Fucking fuckers. If I leave early today, I hope I have enough stuff to read to last me the rest of the evening.

  • Gender, what a concept!

    This is an essay I wrote but never shared after *last* year's #ComingOutDay. I touched it up a little, but it's still very rough (I've learned a…

  • Where ya from? :)

    The following piece is a monologue I performed for "The Griot Show" last weekend: I get asked this question a lot: "Where are you from?"…

  • Coming to rest.

    Copied from facebook (sorry, but it's something). One of the topics I was researching yesterday was sundive trajectories. It may be surprising, but…

  • Post a new comment


    default userpic

    Your reply will be screened

    Your IP address will be recorded 

    When you submit the form an invisible reCAPTCHA check will be performed.
    You must follow the Privacy Policy and Google Terms of use.