Mood:and every morning, I'll greet the sun with a smile
Music:Jethro Tull - Thick As a Brick (part 2)
Life is great!
I've got the girl, the job, the apartment! Which means I'm free to concentrate on how much I hate myself! Finally! Freedom from worry about my most basic needs (where I'm going to sleep, what I'll do for food) means I'm now free to pay attention to all the stuff I've come to loathe about myself in recent years! Now I can work on developing some sort of personality, instead of being this cynical, controlling, pretentious jerk all the time. A fat, lazy, Joe Sarariman like I always swore I'd never become, full of ambition but devoid of any drive, with all sorts of petty pet peeves and a distrust of those younger, older, and otherwise not myself.
I want to know what the phase of the moon is without having to look it up. I want to know rain is coming by the smell it brings. I want joy to sprout like motherfucking flowers everywhere my foot falls. But to start, I'll take the courage to accept others as they are, without levying petty judgements against them, or applying convenient labels.
At some point in the future, I will be present. I just hope it's before my time has passed.