"Gosh darnit, I need these two things to stick together, but they just won't stay!"
Don't be a tool, use a tool. Reach for Hastur's Fasteners!
"Wow, it worked!
Hastur's Fasteners, family owned since before time was dreamt of!
Hastur's Fasteners is a registered trademark of the OH GOD IT'S HORRIBLE! WHAT PAIN! IT'S CONSUMING MY VERY SOUL! THE AGONY! I AAAAUGGH—