The Enemy of the Good (eideteker) wrote,
The Enemy of the Good

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Moving forward

Went bowling tonight. My (now former) boss drilled my dad's ball so that it's now left handed. After a few adjustments for my hand... like buttah. It's got a really sweet hook on it and it just rolls off my hand (seriously; if you're throwing the ball down the lane, you're doing it wrong). But my dad's ball is 30 years old, so, even though I shouldn't really spend the money, I'm getting a new ball as well; totally sweet, last year's model; at cost (employee discount and then some; he said he really appreciated the help this summer). I only got to bowl one game, though, so maybe again on Monday.

I saw Snakes on a Plane (finally!) tonight with Humor Us (my comedy troupe, remember?). At first, I was using this audience participation guide, but midway through I decided to just start adlibbing and some of it was really funny shit. The people sitting in front of us, no joke, got up, turned around, and thanked us for our commentary at the end. We made the movie for them. That's such a warm feeling! Sadly, none of us thought to bring quarter-cards to pass out for the upcoming show in Sept. (which I will probably not be in, unless I can come out that weekend and do a cameo), but I told them to look out for "Humor Us" at the Risley Theater in September. Really, their reactions made the film for us. If people had just been like "shh!" it would've totally sucked. An usher came in like three times, scanning the floor with his flashlight. We thought he was going to kick us out each time, but I guess he was just on snake patrol.

Some highlights (relatively spoiler free, in a movie as blatantly cliched as this):
When they're talking to the tower about landing the plane and the one fellow gets a bit too ethnic: "This ain't Soul Plane 2, nigga!" and "Could you put someone more..." "Go ahead, say it. Someone more white on the motherfucking radio." (I also followed this scene with a commentary on how I could see the director asking him to reshoot the scene, but "do it again, but blacker. No, forget that black crap... can you just do it straight up nigger? Really accentuate the 'urban' vibe." all said in as 'white' a voice as possible)
Said when the cat gets eaten, as it segues into the Mile High Club scene: "That snake's like, 'I'm gonna get me some pussy tonight!' Oh, wait, looks like he's not the only one!"
When SLJ burns some snakes: "Yes, they deserved to die, and I hope they burn in hell!" (yeah, I know, everyone says this one)
When SLJ shoots the guy in the chest: "Oh, I'm sorry. Did I break your concentration?"
When SLJ is about to blow the windows on the plane: "I've had it with the motherfucking suspension of disbelief in this motherfucking movie."
When SLJ shoots the harpoon gun: "And I'm going after that motherfucking shark from Deep Blue Sea next."

We also came up with random "Snake Facts" as a running gag. "Snake fact #1: Snakes are attracted to light, fucking, and doob smoke." "Snake fact #3: Snakes really don't like to be peed on." "Snake fact #5: Snakes are horny motherfuckers" (this last one said while the Roseann-looking woman was "dreaming"). A few other running gags, like how SLJ pulled the kid in for "not recycling", even better at the end when *yeah, SPOILER* he shoots him: "You shoulda recycled, motherfucker!" Why can't my attention span be this long at academics?

Shit, I can't even remember any of the really good ones (I know, a likely story). You definitely had to be there. Or be Becca, who got about 1 hr 45 min of quips, jokes, and off-color remarks unloaded on her so that they could be out of my system.

Tomorrow, I'm taking my dad's bike out to MA to keep with Tom for the winter. I've got to move soon; my lease is up Sept. 5th! I hate I-88, with its bumpy concrete slabs, though. Yay, 6+ hours of hauling a trailer. And I get to do it once or twice more for my furniture (depending on how much fits in a UHaul trailer).

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