New wisdom (derived from quantum mechanics): Actions can't exist independent of observation, and observation changes the event. Selfishness, while an aspect, is not the entirety of the gesture, nor is selflessness, nor malice, nor benevolence. I have seen the most inconsequential of actions light up someone's day. Is it the selfishness of the act that harms you, or is it the lack of regard for your feelings, for your existence as a person? For that matter, selfishness is rarely an intent but often an outcome.
And we can accept some of the burdens of the event plus our observation upon ourselves. We all do, every day (with the possible exception of the most extreme of sociopaths?). But the observation does not create the photon, nor determine its frequency/wavelength. It merely colors it. So it's possible for some individuals, who place a higher expectation on others to assume more of the cost of the interaction, to accrue a debt. In moments of heat, that debt is often called.
But debts can also be forgiven.