The Enemy of the Good (eideteker) wrote,
The Enemy of the Good

Emotionally, I've been going through a lot lately. I'm lonely. I don't feel like I belong here. I feel as if I am a guest, or as if I am just visiting the campus. At low points, I even feel like an intruder. On the flip side, I feel more capable here than I ever did. Despite the physical setbacks of having to use the computer labs and living off campus (harder to get to the labs), I feel as if I deserve to be here more than ever. But I keep expecting the holiday to end and for me to have to go to work in the morning. I'm sure it'll pass. Until my financial aid is sorted out, however, I don't think I have insurance, so I can't start visiting CAPS (counseling and psychological services).

Last night, in the Brain and Sleep class, one girl introduced herself as being from New Orleans. She said her house was gone. I ran into her on campus today and she looked like she was in another world. I actually went up to her and talked to her (obviously not the "old me") and we talked about NOLA and grief counseling. I suggested she stop in the CAPS office or EARS (the free peer counseling service, which I used to do). It was sad; she can't reach anyone by phone, and her phone doesn't work because it's a Louisiana number (I guess the switching station or what have you is submerged/unpowered).

Less than 15 minutes later, I ran into cele8stial at the entrance to Olin Library (Olin, OLIN, Olin, Olin, Olin, Olin Library! -to the tune of Proud Mary), proving that you can indeed run into everyone and anyone in the corridor between Olin and Uris libraries. I had just had a meeting with my advisor, who tells me I actually only need 6 credits of Psychology to graduate (should've taken another writing course). He said everything looks ship-shape. Meeting with him was good. He's a nice guy and replies to e-mail almost instantly. Seeing him reaffirms that I have actually been readmitted to the university and I am actually a legitimate student and no, this isn't all a dream or hallucination.

This weekend, I have Tom and Becca coming to visit to look forward to, and then we're going to the state fair with Xi. But of course that means I need to clean my apartment. It's almost the end of Tuesday and I don't even have food for myself in my apartment. I've been actually doing reading and assignments for my classes (no, for reals!), but to the exclusion of everything else (except for my nightly Smash Bros. Melee relaxer). Walking everywhere is great for the environment, but lousy on time. I'm going to start wearing some of my motorcycle wet weather gear to bicycle downtown. I need to figure out how to get my truck's oil changed at the Ford dealership downtown; I think I might take the bicycle in the truckbed and then do some more shopping for furniture and other things (I've decided to look into getting fish and houseplants).

I did not get to take everything out of my apartment. I have an eBay auction running for the motorcycle parts taking up space in NJ. My computer and some stuff is still down there. I need to clean to apartment. I can't do it this weekend, so next weekend I will have to go down there and clean the apartment so they can show it. I'm probably going to end up paying rent through October. Blech.

I'm thinking of going for a swim this evening. The falls are right behind my apartment. Becca, Tom, you may want to bring suits in case you want to take a dip. It still gets well up into the 80s here, but it'll probably be raining through the weekend. It's important to balance work with relaxation.

I'm in Africana class right now. We're starting, so I'm going to go. There is a cat stalking something out in the field beyond the window.
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