So, my alternatives seem to be that I bitch and moan until they let me do a self-install, I get DSL (which involves paying for a phone line I won't use), I suck it down and use my PDA and then the computer labs when I need to do Just Teh Facts (Cornell's intranet) stuff, or I figure out how to connect my computer to the internet through my phone (like I do now with my PDA). Then again, I could just get wireless internet and hope there's a signal to steal, or shell out the money for a laptop (I was thinking about this anyway) and then just connect to various hotspots (like the State [Street] Diner).
Or, I could just keep my computer here and visit it on the weekends.
The reason for coming in person is to allow them to charge $, but the lady on the phone even said she'd waive the installation fee. SO LET ME DO THE FRICKING INSTALL MYSELF. I don't like people doing things for me. I am going to be a PITA of an old man, if I make it.