The Enemy of the Good (eideteker) wrote,
The Enemy of the Good

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Last Hurrah

I: Do you know what the purpose of a coffee table book is?
Becca: to hold down your coffee table and to be full of pictures and to gather dust?
I: No
Becca: to keep your table from getting coffee stains?
I: nyet
Becca: then what?
I: To show off your class and distinction when you have guests over
Becca: ahh... I see
I: Well, I have come up with a better way
Becca: hmmm... what is that?
I: I have invented the toilet tank book
I: I now have a copy of "Deliverance" on top of my toilet
Becca: to impress your guests in the bathroom.
I: So that when people come over and have to take a massive, they can see exactly how much class and distinction I have
Becca: ewwwwwwwwwwwwwww
I: And there is a bookmark at the page that says "Now let's you just drop them pants."
I: For those who want to skip right to the "good parts"
Becca: Oh my goodness...
I: I should probably call the Greaseman tomorrow and tell him about my idea
Becca: I suppose so.
I: I should get business cards printed
I: [name omitted]
I: "Now let's you just drop them pants."
Becca: hee hee
I: That is the best corporate motto
Becca: (sigh)
I: It would have worked for Enron

Operation: No Fucking TV has been a smashing success, so I have decided to scale back my internet activites to a minimum. This means no instant messenging, no lj, no webcomics. I will use my PDA for e-mail, and my computer for things like Internet Radio and DVD playback only. I'm allowing myself to check, but most all internet activity will have to be done through the painfully slow process of using my PDA.
All of this should provide increased time for Operation: Ivy Storm, which is now waiting on a reply from my Dean in Arts & Sciences. Fear normally swallows me whole, but I have been practicing opening my mouth bigger.

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