Ok, I was kidding about that last part (have to put that in for legal reasons, otherwise I could be sued for literally intending to KILL EVERYONE), but it seems odd to me, simple country boy I is, that you can't just sally down to the nearest Target*Mart/K-Mart/ÜberMart, buy a damned BB gun, and start killing innocent bottles and lightbulbs.
Don't ask me from where this sudden fancy has sprung up. I have been reading cockeyed.com AFD.
Good thing I know all the cops in town and none of them think I'm a psycho loner (I'm really that good an actor); but I still bet even typing this is going to put my name on some national serial killer watch list. Sure as my name is GREG KACZOR.
It was really fucking tempting to put up George's name, y'know, from Cornell. Hopefully, somewhere (probably at work), Joe is laughing as hard as I was a second ago, imagining jackbooted thugs breaking into wherever George is now. Ah, George.
*pun seriously not intended. Asshole.