I came to a very deep realization today. Above all else, I'd love to cultivate the talent necessary to melt women with my writing. And I don't mean with trashy romance novels, either. I want my words to be so soft and savory, like a luscious slab of butter cut with a hot knife, that I could be discussing foreign policy and women would just get totally mushy. I'd be the Tom Jones of the written word. Women would use their panties as bookmarks.
Failing that, I would always settle for just making people laugh. But it would have to be a lot of people.