I was going make that a full-fledged fake article, but I didn't want to seem like I was emulating the Onion. I just wanted to make people laugh. Or giggle. Or scream.
I'm thinking about buying a 1976 Ford pickup of some kind, and then pimping it out. Get some chrome rims, run some blue lights around under the body, lower the suspension, and maybe add a spoiler to the back, the cab, the hood, and a chinspoiler for the very front. And then trim the whole thing (even the rust spots) with gold. And then I could get one of those windshield banners at the top and it could say "The PIMP-UP Truck". And then I would rig everything with hydraulics. Even the ashtray and the radio.
*Dramatization: not actual link.