Dark: They both realized that as the two brightest minds on the planet, they were fully capable of representing Good and Evil in a final battle
Dark: This was more of a seventies Doom, with less dimension
Dark: Dude, it so rocked!
Dark: I wish I could write this stuff while awake!
Dark: See, the Infinity Gauntlets were back
Dark: But there were two of them, one from an alternate dimension
Dark: And Reed and Vic each got one
Dark: And since Doom's was from the alt dimension, Richards banished him to it
Dark: And surrounded the earth in a protective shield
Dark: And I had a Sabbath moment because Doom just fckin tore a portal between the two worlds and reached out with gigantic hands (the Hands of Doom) to crush the shield
Dark: At first, Richards was sure it would hold because each gauntlet was more powerful in its own dimension
Dark: But Doom found a way, natch, to use the gauntlet's power to leech the physical space of his dimension into ours
Dark: And so he was wreaking all kinds of havok and Richards was running around trying to patch things but Doom was already somewhere else doing something else
Dark: So he couldn't catch up, only keep up
Dark: Finally, they have a show down in the ruins of not the Four Freedoms Plaza but the Baxter Building OMG
Dark: And so Reed and Vic are both basically wrassling... with INFINITE POWAR
Dark: And Doom has recruited this rediculously Hanna-Barberan lackey
Dark: And though the dream is all live action, he practically even looks like a cartoon
Dark: And you're like, WTF? Doom hire a lackey?
Dark: Cause he would always just build robots
Dark: But Richards destroyed the factory
Dark: So he just grabbed one of the survivors of his carnage and was like, get my back
Dark: Which basically means, when we're fighting and our powers are exactly matched (basically neutralized... the only way to fight on the world without destroying the world), run up behind him and take his legs out
Dark: A dirty trick, but Doom was nuts with power
Dark: So like
Dark: I wander into the middle of all of this, and I'm like, Dude, NO
Dark: That's Reed Richards. No way you're playing Dirty Pool with him.
Dark: Not that I was taking sides, cause I like Doom fine, but I wanted it to be fair
Dark: But then Doom points out that according to evil, who he's representing, everything is fair
Dark: So I kinda shrug, and the lackey dude is like, "Hold him still, Doc. I'll cut his freakin NECK!"
Dark: And Richards just turns his head 180 and says, HOW? I'll just move. And he's so like "DUH" to this guy and it's so out of character for Reed (who's obviously had more than enough of this) that the guy shuts up pretty bad
Dark: After all, Reed's still wielding godlike power
Dark: So they decide they need to fight in more direct terms of good and evil
Dark: Doom does something evil, Reed does something inherently good
Dark: Doom burns some people, Reed makes the sun shine
Dark: Doom opens a chasm to the fiery magma of earth's core, Reed closes it and covers it with flowers
Dark: And at this point, it's gotten a little too Little Nicky for me, so I wander off to the Sonic Youth show
Dark: I thought this would be SHORTER than posting to lj
Dark: oh well