I feel a bit vindicated since I pulled my manager aside today and had a talk with him. I finally got an appt. at the doctor's so I can start seeing a shrink and then go back to Cornell.
It's like playing Tetris. I've been waiting for the blocks to fall into place because I didn't want to hold the down button. Pretty soon they'll start falling faster than I want to, but for now I ought to be doing everything I can to speed them up. Nothing makes me walk away faster, though, than seeing a lot of work I put in go to nothing.
I think I hit a critical point yesterday. My muscles are back to contracting painfully and ceaselessly in my back, so I must not be as exhausted as I was. The chiropractic referral from my doctor will help a lot.
I'm going to live my American Dream. If Patrick Bateman could do it, why can't I?