The Enemy of the Good (eideteker) wrote,
The Enemy of the Good
eideteker

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The thin line between indie and hate

The Sam Goody magazine that came in the mail today advertises that "TONS" of reviews will be found inside its featherweight pages. Reach for a piece of paper, any piece of paper, so long as it will tell you what to think.

We have tons of reviews. More reviews than anyone else. We will tell you what to think about everything; don't worry. We will absolve you of judgement; you don't have to make the call about anything. Don't feel guilty; we have told you good or bad, right or wrong, worthwhile or worthless.

I was watching American Psycho again last night (tough choice between it and American Pimp), and I noted one of the reasons I like the movie. Bateman is walking down a dark city alley where he is met by a plea for help from a homeless man, or rather, a man without an indoor home; a houseless man. He says to the bum, I'll help you... what's your name? And the bum says, Al, my name is Al. Bateman says, I'll help you, Al, if you'll help yourself. Please, sir, tell me what to do, the bum says.

Tell him what to do.

Bateman gets angry, enraged. He tells him what to do; he tells him to get a fucking job. And then he shoots him.

Poor Al was waiting all his life for someone to tell him what to do. I and some of my friends are like that right now. We want you to help us, to tell us what to do with ourselves. We don't want to help; we don't want to decide. Decision implies finality, and finality alludes to death; death by the long, grinding rut of routine.

Some of you are saying, wait, so this is a good movie because a rich kid shoots a bum? No, you are not listening. You can see that a man was killed, when you watch a movie. A child can do that. But can you see why he was killed? Can you see what brought Bateman to that alley? Can you see what put Al there? You don't have to see right and wrong.

I never want to have one of my books billed as: "by the author of". I am not "the author of". I am me, N@, Dark, an entity in myself. I am not a relation to another object. But maybe then my books will not sell. Is that what's important?

It's for all these reasons and more that I choose to be independent, or 'indie'. I do not want to be a name for sale. I do not want to like something because it's right, or because it's good. I was told that was insufficient when I was in grade school doing book reports. I want to understand why I like something. I want to understand why I dislike something. I want to understand why I don't like something. (I also want people to understand that don't like and dislike are different things; it would save a lot of explaining, this difference between opposition and indifference).

The meaning is between the words, the joy is between the notes.
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