The Enemy of the Good (eideteker) wrote,
The Enemy of the Good

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You might be R. Kelly if...

Everywhere you walk, you're heading into a strong wind blowing; even indoors. (This has been known to happen to me; Ithaca is windy) This goes double for cemetaries, where you hang out a lot.

You pour one out for your homies. Everywhere. And you always have one. Whether it be in a car dealership, or at your favorite haunt, the cemetary. This really gets on the nerves of people at restaurants.

"I'll have one of your finest chiantis."
"Very good, sir."
*five minutes pass*
"Here you are, sir. Sir? What are you doing, sir?"
"I's pourin' one out fo mah dawgs."
"What?!!" At this point, you stand up, and the wind catches your coat and you flutter there all hardcore.
"Nevermind, sir. Enjoy your meal."
At which point you think at him, Cracker-ass cracker.

I always think cracker-ass cracker, but that's thanks to Joe and Chris Rock. But I need to pour one out more often.
Christ, what am I doing up this late watching VH-1? Heaven knows.

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