The Enemy of the Good (eideteker) wrote,
The Enemy of the Good
eideteker

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It's the one thing;

Last week, one of my friends remarked that I seemed to be on the girlfriend frontier; cusp if you will. It's interesting, because I don't think I've ever quite felt so out of love in my life. As much occurred to me today while I was singing a song to myself that reminds me of my newest number one crush. I'm never so happy as when I'm falling in love, even when it's someone I know I have zero chance with (it's not zero! it's not zero! just keep repeating that!). Now I'm not saying I'm falling in love, no no no. That would be trouble for my poor little heart. But I've got that crusher's high, when you jump seeing something she wrote, or knowing she's online. I won't bore you with all the details; just know that it's a good feeling.

So I'm smiling, even though my head is killing me for the third consecutive day. That's all. Is it use? Abuse? I mean, I know I'm "using" her to feel good about myself; girls are one of my addictions. Heck, I was already crushing on a few chickies I've known for awhile, but then someone relatively new will rear her head and suddenly EVERYTHING IS BRIGHT AND LIKE IN A MUSICAL!!! Only less annoying. God, do I ever find musicals annoying.

Now the trick is, maybe, to find that one person with whom I can fall in love everyday, and crush until infinity1. Fresh and happy, but not Prozacked into a dull buzz of joy. There's ups, and there's downs, but in the end, I always come back around.

I need to write some really bad poetry now. Here's what I've got so far:

I bought into the dream;
I went ahead and fell for the next big thing


Right now is about the point where I wonder if I should keep typing. Maybe if the entry is long enough, she'll skim over it and not really read what I've written. I'd hate to have her think I'm a complete and total dork; I just want to write about the act of falling in love. Or crushing. Or whatever. I could care less what you think.

Yes, I wrote that correctly. I could care less, but I'll pretend for the Time Being that I couldn't.

Y'know what I mean?

It's just the act of flirting. A man needs it to feel alive. Whatever it brings, it brings. I'm just glad it's there.

1 And who doesn't like musicals2. Or at least won't make me sit through one.
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