"Geez, Mike! You could have killed it! And how often do you see cardinals this far north?" N@ screamed.
Mikey felt kinda ashamed, but then the cardinal got up and shook off the cobwebs. It strutted over to the students and looked up at N@. N@ didn't look at it, not wanting to make a challenging eye contact. Or was that dogs?
Whatever it was, the bird didn't like it, because it started to scratch and claw at N@. He grabbed the bat and beat the bird unconscious.
Everyone stared at him, shocked. "What happened to not hurting the cardinal?"
Catching his breath, N@ said, "Yeah, but that was just being an asshole."
Okay so maybe I didn't dream the actual attack because my alarm woke me up, but I knew what was coming. Extract morals if you dare.