August 6th, 2008

Bate-man... nananananananana Bateman!

Weights & Measures

I've been purchasing salad for lunch lately. Today, I put mine on the scale at the register and it read 1.01. So close! Then, when I took it off, it said "0.02" so my salad was actually .99 lbs. Same amount of error, opposite direction. I should have taken an extra half of a bacon bit.

(Yes, I keep my own salad dressing back at the office. I'm not stupid. I know they get you by weighing the dressing.)
Kiss the ring!

Mo' Money, Mo' Powers

So, I'm thinking I need a part-time job as a Magical Negro (only part-time because I'm only part-negro).

How would I go about doing so?

I'm thinking this is the kind of thing craigslist is for.

Jobs (PT)
Magical Negro for hire. Negro seeks employment by hero or movie studio employing same, for purposes of travel, adventure, and spiritual exploration. Please e-mail me with information on the expected plot and magical powers for the position. Serious inquiries only.

  • it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
  • it's NOT ok to contact this poster with scripts for buddy pictures with Chris Tucker
  • it's ok to contact this poster with scripts for buddy pictures with Chris Rock