January 18th, 2007

Oh yeah?

I'm getting an idea for a product...

LIQUOR STORE CLERK #1. Man, that guy was a real jerk to you.
LSC2: Yeah, but I showed him. I just took a dump on his shiny new BMW.
LSC1: What? The silver one, out front?
LSC2: That's the one!
LSC1: You idiot! That was the boss' car!
LSC2: Shimatta bakame! Oh, for Fuchs Sake.

NARRATOR: That's right, Fuchs Sake. From Fuchs, proud international brewer and importer of exotic beers, comes a brand new sake that's guaranteed to make your problems disappear! For when you accidentally mess up your mafia-connected boss' new car, cry out for Fuchs Sake!

I'm picturing a whole series of ads... For when you get your parole officer pregnant. For when your daughter's fiance shows up drunk to the wedding (hah, the irony! What alcohol destroyed, alcohol shall fix, I guess). For when you get disbarred for sleeping with a witness, or witnesses on both sides if you're a judge (if lawyers that sleep with their clients get disbarred, do judges who do likewise get disrobed?). And so on. I have no interest in the actual product, but I'd love to run the spots on primetime television. Despite the fact that the joke is an entirely textual one.

Man, I could make t-shirts with a sake set on the front and a bottle, and over those the words Oh for FUCHS SAKE. Then on the back, it would have a fake nutritional label (or whatever the Fuchs liquor bottles have).
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    i know alcohol companies sponsor my livejournal. i'm not talking about them; them shits is delicious
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