December 12th, 2005

Starless

I hate tests they make me want to cry.

I feel like I'm either going to do really well on this one, or like I'm going to get there and not know any of it. It's cumulative, and we didn't have a midterm (group project instead). It could be anything. A B in the course will make me happy. There's just one more exam after this, and tomorrow + wed = serious studying. My least favorite class, too.
  • Current Music
    Jethro Tull - Thick As a Brick (part 2)
Roland, The Gunslinger

And another one gone and another one gone

"Of all the things I value most of all
I look inside myself and see my world and know that it is good.
You know that I should." *

I walked out of my exam tonight, spread my arms, and sang that to the empty Ag quad.

I'm feeling more confident lately. My participation in Metafilter has actually been fairly rewarding, in terms of refining my capacity for intelligent discourse and defending myself in debate. I'm actually using some of my knowledge to make reasoned points. Sure, I'm talking about controversial points, and I may disagree with myself in time, but taking the risk of being wrong is part of moving forward (and internal inconsistency is not so big a problem if you follow my logic from the linked comment). As my professor said at today's review session, "If you're not embarrassed by something you wrote five years ago, you're not making progress." And like I said in that comment, I'm starting to think like a cell in a collective organism. My friends are all working through things with me. Alison and I are both working on confidence. Sari and I are working on self. Becca and I are working on love and relationships. Joe and Katy are working with me on getting things done/productivity. Tom's focusing on identity.

It's all us, together. I look inside and see my world and know that it is good. You know that I should. You are my world, guys.
  • Current Music
    Black Sabbath - Spiral Architect