September 27th, 2005

Grrr!, Dammit!


My desktop backgrounds are randomized, but currently, this is mine.

That's me down there at the bottom. The structure is Cornell.

The thing about it is, the work's not so bad; it's actually sitting myself down to do it that has been and continues to kill me. One step at a time, I know.

I went to bed just before 6AM this morning. WTF? I am falling back in to old patterns of not eating, not sleeping, and conveniently finding other things to do rather than study. This shit isn't hard; what's the deal? Maybe it all does come down to habit after all. I've become so dehabituated to studying I don't know what to do. Well, time to just pick up a fucking book and read.

But there's a block. It's imaginary; it's not even there, but it's stopping me.

I'm writing this down so that one day I can look back and laugh and say, in retrospect, "See, it wasn't that hard." But I fear I'll never hit that point where I Get Shit Done. I say to you, again, WTF?
  • Current Music
    King Crimson, Epitaph