March 19th, 2003


I'm still tryin... to wake up

I remember the trimester where we studied the holocaust in history class. I was depressed for months.

The majority of my dreams are exploration dreams. I wander around somewhere equally vague and familiar. But I can never seem to get where I'm going, or find what (who) I'm looking for when I have a definite goal. But last night, I had a dream in which one of my dearest friends found what she was looking for, and came to admit something about herself that changed her life forever. I'm glad someone's accomplishing something in my dreams.

Did I mention I'm ready to collapse? I haven't had a decent night's sleep in a week and a half, what with the wake and funeral and work. And my day off on Friday was commuted to Monday for the funeral even though I would have been more that willing to use one of my many sick days. I had to be at work by 7:45 this morning for a conference call and I get to stay till closing YAY! I get an hour lunch as my reward instead of 45 min but we're actually supposed to get an hour ANYWAY. You know it's bad when I'm about to snap at customers, because I'm generally thought of as the customer service king.

The good news is I have $16 from the state IRS and on my way back from class on Monday, I can stop at the GSP and get my preordered copy of the WindWa[l]ker. If I make it. I don't even get time to go return my shitty CD player to RadioShack or to go buy a fucking suit so I have a suit to wear to funerals or to buy some new clothes so I can stop sportin all sorts of fabric holes.

I'm cold everywhere. And I miss having friends. And I'm sick of sympathy.
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