March 3rd, 2003



Post-traumatic regression
in a hip hypnotist's session
hoping to uncover
memories of each other

Sand-blown hardpan
desolate and dead again
Windswept by this weather
it whispers to me of never

And the disconnected computer beeps
A final output the mechanism weeps
The gears the ground till rusted by tears
Seized their turning at the end of years

the dust crowds round nascent eyes
that what never opens never dies
A quiet resignation, it's never much
A trade for the Eternal never to touch

The simple truth is made
to never rust or shrink or fade
The simplest of lies
when swallowed, metabolize

No pill could encapsulate
filled with the will to sedate
No coating that dissolves
Could medicate my resolve

You could not abate my hate no matter how much you medicate me. You predicate supremacy on the vehemency of your supposed clemency. You're afraid of me, amazed at me, and cannot see the simplicity that implicitly lets me be. Lets me be me lets me be free let's you be you and us be two, not one. It's more fun and seperately we can see farther facing opposite than so tightly knit the wool over our eyes scratches till we cry. Eyes red, I bury my head because my tears have already said everything I ever could or would but you won't see cause you can't read me, but that's how it's supposed to be, unity independently; a cooperative venture without being indentured, I ventured to say one day but to no avail. My words failed, and I was left to heft the burden of being a loner in a loud crowd of dowdy conformist, deformed by the ill will of those too scared to care. I start to give a horrified stare, but instead close my eyes and open to share.
  • Current Music
    Walkmen, We've Been Had
Relaxing... a little


DrMix: Huh.
DrMix: That's quite a play
DrMix: I'd say gamble, but there was no gamble, he up and quit
I: right
I: Likens the US to that big buddy of yours on nights he's had too much to drink
I: You're afraid for him, so you try to get his keys
I: But he's so damned threatening, nasty drunk that he is, you just let him drive off rather than stand up to him
DrMix: Or in my case, that guy I thought was pretty smart but I don't really know or like him all that well
DrMix: And then he disappears and shows up three days later complaining about his DUI
  • Current Music
    Eazy-E, Boyz in tha Hood
Hello Time Bomb!


Hmm. One of the exercises in this book encourages you to use a float for prices, due to the decimal points. But I wonder if it wouldn't make more sense to use an int (or even a short) and express the price in cents. I would imagine, if you were doing a number of operations on the variable, it would be more efficient to use a smaller variable and then divide by 100 at the end to get an output in cents. Where's the break-even point between # of calls for a variable vs. size of the variable? Does it even work like that? See, the book doesn't tell me, so I'm guessing.

Though I suppose you'd still have to define a float for the final output in cents, so it might not improve much. But how do I know what's sound design?
  • Current Music
    Yessongs - Roundabout