July 3rd, 2002


This little light of mine

Did you ever notice how some people radiate joy and warmth and happiness? Some people seem like they're always bright and cheery and you just feel better for having them around. Some people are always dark and stormy. Some people are more inclined to switch back and forth than others. Some people would shine but the world just bogs them down.

I want to be the person that fuels the world's smiling people, that keeps them shining bright on everyone else's day. I am that person. They are the warmth; I want to be the source of warmth.

One thing that reading American Gods has reminded me is that the notion of sacrifice has really fallen out of fashion; even in churches, where the (monetary, no longer physical) tithe is now no longer crippling. It's given way to more pure, though hidden, forms of slavery. Man works hard at his job, fights to be accepted and loved; brings home money to a family that only wants more. That's not sacrifice; that's living death (redundant or not). That man does not smile; he grimaces. He strains under the weight of the world and weeps gently. Sacrifice is not easy or light, but it is purer. To efface the self is simple; to infuse the self, divine. If I give one hundred percent of myself to everyone every day, there's a way it can sustain you. But you must give it to those who deserve. You must give it to the Alisons and Kirstins and Megans and Rebeccas of the world, so that they may shine like suns and keep warm the earth.

Somewhere, there is a fire...
  • Current Music
    that Haircut 100 song in my head