Silly me! I forgot to mention
the contest of the three Goddesses with Paris and the Golden Apple of the Hesperides (who were also three sisters). Eris, the goddess Dischord herself, had this Golden Apple. I might be relating mixed myth here, since I've read this story
from half a dozen different places a dozen different ways. So anyhow, she offered the apple to Paris if he would act as judge in a contest between three of Greek Mythology's greatest goddesses. She did this, of course, to cause fighting between them, since they naturally scorned her as a lesser goddess. The apple was inscribed, To the fairest...
and it was Paris' job to pick.
The contest was between Hera, Athene, and Aphrodite. Hera, matron goddess and queen of all things motherly, offered Paris power on earth. I guess this was an admission by the Greeks that the mother wears the pants and wields the power in the family. It beats her offering him clean dishes and warm supper, so yay women's lib in ancient times. Athene offered things from her sphere: Cunning wisdom and battle prowess.
A minute, Tom Sawyer just came on the VH-1 Classic. Breathe
. Wow, I've never even seen this video. It's concert footage. Rock. I set a reminder in the new calendar program thingie about the concert today. Whee. So psyched. But uh, back to tha lekcha at hand...
Aphrodite offered Paris one thing: Poontang. The sweetest poontang in all of Greece, Helen of Troy. Cue the music, launch the thousand ships, now you know (if you didn't) what sparked that whole Trojan War dealie that started ten years before the Iliad even kicks in.
You see now that the contest ended up having nothing to do with fairness. It was a question of what each could offer him as a man. Which goddess, really, is better? Can you say you'd prefer beauty, or wisdom, or power at the cost of the other two? Paris chose Aphrodite, got Helen (for awhile), but lost power and wisdom. He caused and lost a war for Troy, and he certainly wasn't that smart or good in battle (though he did manage to kill that asshole Achilleus). Why should we chose when we can say that all the Goddesses have their fairness and their nastiness? Though I lean towards Athene, I still think Hera and Aphrodite rock pretty hard (once they settled out of their whole 'causing the destruction of mortals' phase). Well, okay, I think Aphrodite was a slut and Hera was a major mayor queen president biotch, but you get what I mean. You take the good with the bad, though. Hera was a good mother (usually) to her children (poor Hephaestus), and Aphrodite could be really, really sweet (usually when she wanted something). But then, Athene was a stuck up little daddy's girl. Kinda like [Unknown LJ tag]