October 19th, 2001

The view from up here

The Thinking Man's Thinking Man

Illuminated texts that stretch through the ages

Dust and wealth caked onto their pages

The sages delineated for me knowledge with a cost—not free

A fee extracted in moments lost

Moments thus spent contemplating

see the bright sun so slowly fading

Consider this a measured risk for treasured bits of storied bliss

hidden inside letters traded on pages faded

now worn by time and worn with pride

by those lost between the shelves in

What they learn from the ages—
    —can they learn from themselves?
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Jigen Daisuke

t h o u g h t c o m p r e s s i o n

I have three or four hours at work to think, and then only 45 min at home (minus walking time) to express them all. I'm going to start going back and editing entries each day to add what I forgot in my rush. Just an FYI to those of you with crowded friends pages... if you do like to read my journal, you'll have to keep an eye out for me at the end of the day; I may not be where you left me.

It's odd, at least, to me, to think how discovering emo has helped, or at least coexisted, with my increased sense of self-identity. This is all despite the fact that I am not emo any more than this is not a pipe. (What's the name of the French guy who did that painting?)

I'm not emo. I'm not acting emo. I know what emo is, and I listen to the music. I'm starting to feel at home in myself. All of these things are independent but act together to create the perfect concert of one imperfect human being in a web of billions.

It's all green to me.
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Making friends and breaking amends

There's a lot of cool people I feel like befriending in my communites, but I'm not sure. People like nottoneedyou and jaynie seem cool, and not just cause they're mathrockin' kiddies. Then there's opiummmm, who I've always thought was amazingly cool but never added for fear of seeming fanboyish. If I add them, and then later delete, will they "hate" me?

Wait, I thought I didn't care.

Meh, to some people's journals, I just have nothing worth contributing. Irene doesn't hate me; hey, I'm barely a blip, right? Where's the inflated sense of self-worth coming from?

What do I care? I know a girl who makes me shine. But no, that's not why I feel so good.

Feeling love for yourself really can make you see the love in others.

Then again, I wonder who reads my journal that isn't on my friends list. They emerge from the cracks whenever I throw up a poll; that's for sure. Sound off in the comments if I'm talking about you.
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Hello Time Bomb!

(no subject)

[18:53:08] <ScientistNo2> I just tried to read Bree's journal, but I have no idea what language it's written in.
[18:53:17] <ScientistNo2> It's not 1337
[18:53:22] <nemo> ?
[18:53:27] <ScientistNo2> Maybe an obscure dialect
[18:53:31] Bree|OnThePhone is now known as wickedkisses
[18:53:47] <ScientistNo2> Thank you, bree.
[18:54:07] * ScientistNo2 points Alison to the journal with WK's username.
[18:54:24] <nemo> I'm already there, heh
[18:55:05] <nemo> Some sort of pidgin, perhaps? :D
[18:55:27] <ScientistNo2> Pidgin-1337?
[18:55:31] <ScientistNo2> Is that possible?
[18:55:37] <Adam> p-1337
[18:55:42] <nemo> Hah!
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lord, From this chair of mine...

I'm tired of it to, but I wanted to post some thoughts on the matter.

[20:21:12] <Adam> Dear News, SHUT UP ABOUT ANTRHAX.
[20:21:17] <Adam> Unless you have ACTUAL NEWS.
[20:22:21] <Adam> Some airline wasn't offering NOT DAIRY CREAMER with coffee because passengers were afraid it might be ANTHRAX POWDER?!?
[20:23:27] <ScientistNo2> God god
[20:23:40] <ScientistNo2> there should be another o in there somewhere
[20:25:09] <nemo> People are afraid of creamer and flour and powdered sugar and dust.. this is fucking ridiculous
[20:25:19] <ScientistNo2> Ha
[20:25:25] <ScientistNo2> Just die and get it over with
[20:25:38] <ScientistNo2> Think of it as a game.
[20:25:46] <ScientistNo2> Will you be among the 1% that are immune?
[20:25:48] <nemo> Anthrax is treatable!
[20:25:58] <ScientistNo2> People like to gamble; this is your greatest bet yet.
[20:26:12] * Chris remembers Rat Race
[20:26:15] <Adam> nemo: Well, it also has a very high fatality rate.
[20:26:19] <Hamusutaa> Man, if you're going to conduct bio-warfare, at least choose something that _doesn't deprive me of my coffee_!
[20:26:44] * Hamusutaa shakes his fist in the general eastern direction.
[20:26:46] <nemo> Well, I'm not worried. I'm not working for the media, and I'm not important in the grand scheme of things
[20:26:47] <ScientistNo2> Andy: HA!
[20:26:59] <nemo> So I'm going to go roll around in powdered sugar and flour
[20:27:00] <ScientistNo2> I'm a bank teller
[20:27:02] <nemo> And live my life
[20:27:08] <ScientistNo2> I haven't licked any envelopes
[20:27:15] <Adam> nemo: Whoa! Drip some lemon on yourself and roll into a custard after that.
[20:27:18] * Chris now remembers the opening scene of Hard Boiled
[20:27:22] <ScientistNo2> But if someone wanted to distribute a disease, give it to me
[20:27:27] <ScientistNo2> I handle everyone's money
[20:27:45] <Hamusutaa> They're gonna start opening up every single envelope and package here at work... inspect them, then reseal them with a sticker to let you know they're "safe". "Don't worry, we'll respect your privacy."
[20:27:46] <ScientistNo2> And I live very close to the city
[20:28:36] <nemo> Well, terrorists and such aren't windup toys that are going to keep walking into the wall when you put it up
[20:28:50] <ScientistNo2> Right
[20:28:51] <ScientistNo2> Geez
[20:28:57] <Chris> Yeah, and besides, if they were, we'd just stop winding them!
[20:29:01] <nemo> I think the US is aware enough about Anthrax now that they would probably use something else
[20:29:04] <ScientistNo2> If you catch one terrorist attack, the next won't be done the same way
[20:29:17] <Hamusutaa> "Our new versions are battery-powered!"
[20:29:19] <ScientistNo2> No one's crashing planes into buildings now; we expect that.
[20:29:41] <ScientistNo2> The point is to keep attacking using DIFFERENT methods if you're a terrorist
[20:29:43] <Hamusutaa> although i'd still be very afraid to travel on Thanksgiving
[20:30:03] <ScientistNo2> Why?
[20:30:06] <nemo> They were so successful because they did something no one expected
[20:30:14] <Hamusutaa> Truth be told, that's just an excuse for me to sit on my butt all weekend
[20:30:23] <ScientistNo2> Ah
[20:30:25] <ScientistNo2> Good.
[20:30:49] <nemo> People are cattle, easily spooked into a stampede
[20:30:56] <Adam> I wish I could sit on my butt for Halloween and New Years Eve
[20:31:24] <nemo> On the news, some dinky town in Indiana no one had ever heard of was doing all these security measures and blah blah
[20:32:05] <ScientistNo2> Congratulations
[20:32:07] <nemo> I don't know. People are crazy
[20:32:13] <ScientistNo2> The terrorists are winning, people.
[20:32:17] <nemo> Exactly
[20:32:22] <nemo> People are afraid
[20:32:27] <ScientistNo2> They're not caller "killerers"
[20:32:34] <ScientistNo2> They spread TERROR
[20:32:46] <ScientistNo2> through a relatively low number of casualties
[20:32:56] <Hamusutaa> News Flash! All this "security" is just window dressing! A fake cure! If a terrorist really wanted to do damage, a neighborhood watch isn't gonna stop him
[20:32:59] <nemo> I really like powdered sugar on my donuts :\
[20:33:20] <ScientistNo2> I think maybe I would like to sue if I can't get powdered sugar
[20:33:51] <Hamusutaa> Every single time some stupid decision like this is made... our American way of life is compromised. _This is exactly what the terrorists want_.
[20:34:03] <nemo> If they had wanted the entire US to get Anthrax, we'd all have it by now
[20:34:21] <Hamusutaa> Or at least a larger portion than ten people
[20:34:41] <Hamusutaa> Of course, now that plan's been used. The next plan will be something completely different.
[20:34:53] <ScientistNo2> That's what I just said.
[20:35:23] <nemo> Hasn't anyone even noticed that all these people were related to the media? I don't think a hairdresser in Podunk, Mississippi has to worry about the powdered creamer in her coffee
[20:35:30] <ScientistNo2> Yup
[20:35:43] <Adam> I want coffee.
[20:35:51] <Hamusutaa> logic and reason are not strong points of the average american cattle-citizen
[20:36:02] <nemo> Hell.. the media's doing a better job than the terrorists
[20:36:19] <ScientistNo2> Yeah
[20:36:31] <nemo> Maybe that's why they're being targeted.. "Stop stealing our shtick!"
[20:36:40] <Hamusutaa> Yeah, whatever happened to "Due to national security, you cannot air this story"?
[20:36:45] <Adam> The Alderwood Mall cancelled their child halloween thingy due to security.
[20:36:50] <nemo> It's all just ridiculous
[20:37:18] <nemo> I ate a sugared donut and flew, and I didn't die. And I wouldn't care if I had
[20:37:25] <nemo> Because I'd be dead
[20:37:41] <nemo> Mm.. donut
[20:37:57] <smanda> Ok
[20:37:58] <Adam> Mmm.. dnout.
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