July 22nd, 2001

lord, From this chair of mine...

All aboard the skylark

Today, we celebrated the death of a legend, or some shit. Basically, the D train is dead to Brooklyn (the crappy section of Long Island), and before it went out of service at 12AM this morning, some people wanted to celebrate it. It was a lot of fun, masterminded by reverend_dave. Oh, how we gallivanted. Possibly even caroused. I went to Coney Island. Yes, Coney Island. And you're thinking, why, Dark, that's so mainstream, it's lamestream. Yes. Yes, it was. I saw Guided By Voices (pretty much by accident) and I think I might kinda like their music. Maybe if my CD collection is looking for filler. They're influenced by the Who, who are somewhere on my list of the top 500 bands of all time, so they can't be all that bad. I wish the crowd had been more into it. Mostly, it was just people trying to push past me to go four feet, stop, and turn around because there was NO FUCKING PLACE TO GO, YOU MORONS. So I took to air drumming, which led me to physically hit a couple hundred people who invaded my kit-space. I felt no remorse. Hell, I even tripped seven people, because they wouldn't move around my damn foot. I'm listening to music, retards. Pick a spot and sway/dance to the beat, or leave. Fucktards.

Then we went, on David's gift certificates (YAY THANKS J00 DA5ID!) to see Final Fantasy. Oy. Typical heavy-handed Japanese morality (place your faith in secret eastern doctrine; the science of the west and hard facts will only melt your brain and make you evil). I expected more special effects and action (why do dialogue if it's not your strong suit?). I wasn't expecting typical FF, but it pretty much was. We have to get 12 of thing X, and just before you get #12, it is destroyed (ha ha!) by your enemy and you have to find some other way (think the last temple in Secret of Mana) to do blah blah. Worth it for the number of out-of-character jokes we made about all the players (esp. Ben Affleck's character, played by Alec Baldwin. The "I'm fucking Matt Damon... IN THE ASS!!! thing never gets boring. Oh, wait, it just did. Never mind. In essence, I was expecting exactly what I wasn't supposed to expect, and I didn't get it. Only I didn't get what I was supposed to expect according to the reviews, either. Geez, the only difference between it and a (recent) FF RPG is that the hero was female and the FMV (full-motion video) sequences were shorter. I mean, casting Knights of the Round took longer than this movie. I hate Square RPGs of late. But that's another story.

So, that story (yeah, I'll just make it a paragraph), and vinz_klortho can back me up here: Square RPGs suck. Push a button, sit through 45 minute FMV sequence. Want to cast a spell? Oh, geez. I hope you want to read the Bible cover to cover in the original Greek/Hebrew a few times. One hit? It does 1354135 damage. More than the final boss of FF had, that's for sure. But that's okay... the bad guys now have 2513251963 hit points, so the inflation doesn't really affect anything. It just makes trivial combat more trivial. If the slimes in Dragon Warrior had had 140 HP instead of 4, I would have thrown that game OUT TEH WINDOE. And the sidequests. The fucking card game in FF8 was the stupidest piece of shit I ever saw. They should have packaged it seperate, except they know no one but the hardest-core otaku would play it unless they were FORCED. And that is because it is not only dumb, but also wretchedly stupid. I like Zelda much better, because it's not RPG; it's adventure. I want to kill shit. If I have to use my mind, like in Goldeneye, that's cool. But don't give me busy work (I hated the trading sequences in Zelda64, yes).

I'll tell you where you can stick that Golden Chocobo.
  • Current Music
Roland, The Gunslinger

I don't like New England and other places, The new book from Shiny Red Ball publishing

Perhaps the folks at findyourspot.com should have included a question that said "I hate New England" or "I don't particularly care to see Sam Adams' chamber pot." If I didn't hate New England before, I do after reading Lovecraft. God, does he love to go on about how it's so "magical." It's BORING. And small. And self-important (I hate genealogies). Actually, I kind of like Vermont and New Hampshire, but I don't like Massachusetts (Look, EVERYTHING here is a historical landmark! We're so special! Rotaries! REGISTRY of Motor Vehicles!) or Connecticut (New York's Largest Suburb). Rhode Island is cool, even though it's neither a Rhode or an Island. But it's surrounded by ass states and is too small itself. And VT and NH seem so... remote. They're way the fuck out there. Maine? Well, Maine is cold. And it's not so much the cold and the fact that most of the houses are old and therefore drafty, but the fact that it's so cold that they don't have air conditioning and they get surprised every summer when the temperature climbs above 80. Maine people are whacked out. Just ask Stephen King.

Here's the list, first time around:
  • Hartford, Connecticut The Insurance Capital - This Connecticut city is home to America's oldest State House, oldest public art museum, and oldest continuously published newspaper...
    Population: 825,000 | Average Home Price: $155,000 | Precipitation: 41" | Snow: 42"
  • Danbury, Connecticut Small-Town Charm Near the Big Apple - Zadoc Benedict began making beaver hats here in 1780, starting this Connecticut town's important hat industry...
    Population: 70,000 | Average Home Price: $172,000 | Precipitation: 39" | Snow: 50"
  • Providence, Rhode Island New England’s Best Kept Kept Secret [and the first maybe on the list] - This Rhode Island spot is the home of the award-winning flaming sculpture WaterFire, installed on the three rivers of downtown...
    Population: 650,000 | Average Home Price: $128,000 | Precipitation: 48" | Snow: 32"
  • Boston, Massachusetts NO!
    NOT EVER. Not even if they straighten out the damn roads so it's possible to drive there like a REAL city. (Sorry, Becca... sorry your city is ASS! =D)
  • Sheboygan, Wisconsin [fun to say.. try Siobhan from Sheboygan] Wisconsin’s Jewel on the Lake
    Reader's Digest declared this the best spot in the country to raise a family
    Population: 50,000 | Average Home Price: $115,000 | Precipitation: 29" | Snow: 45"
  • Eugene, Oregon The Emerald City [I'd have to live in the same state as silverfish, even if it is a nice state.]
    This Oregon city is home to the Hendricks Park Rhododendron Garden, famous all over the world for its beautiful blossoms...
    Population: 200,000 | Average Home Price: $165,000 | Precipitation: 48" | Snow: 7"
  • New Haven, Connecticut Home of Yale University which sucks ass
    The first hamburger was cooked at Louis' Lunch in this Connecticut spot in 1900...
    Population: 523,000 | Average Home Price: $198,000 | Precipitation: 43" | Snow: 30"
  • Corvallis, Oregon Heart of the Willamette Valley - Home of morlly
    This Oregon city hosts "da Vinci Days," a festival of unique events revolving around art, science and technology... [a possibility, I guess. MoRlly?]
    Population: 55,000 | Average Home Price: $157,000 | Precipitation: 43" | Snow: 6"
  • Salem, Oregon The Heart of Oregon
    This capital city is the home of the Oregon State Fair, as well as the state's largest on-going fine arts & crafts fair
    Population: 163,000 | Average Home Price: $136,000 | Precipitation: 39" | Snow: 6"
  • Worcester, Massachusetts "That'll be a dollah twenty fiiive, pup." Once again, NO ASSACHEWSETTS!
  • Albuquerque, New Mexico The Pulse of New Mexico
    This city's International Balloon Fiesta features 850 hot air balloons each October…
    Population: 560,000 | Average Home Price: $150,000 | Precipitation: 8" | Snow: 15"
    [I say A-L-B-U.... querque! Now we're talking. Close to AZ, I guess. Some good lightning out in that desert, I hear. Dry heat, and on a mountain so it actually gets cold. I actually like Alberwhatever a lot. Always wanted to visit.]
  • Charleston, West Virginia
    Then a bunch more places in Oregon/Wisconson (Eau Claire!) and Fayetteville, ArchKansas (is that near you, maryeve?) and Little Rock. Some how, "Light of the Ozarks" doesn't do much for me, other than make me think of Deliverance with the Brightness knob turned WAY up.
    Baltimore, and Washington, D.C.

    I didn't like this list. (it's cool they list 24 spots, though. Not like, a top five or ten)

    ("I say A - A! - L - L! - B - B! - U - U!....... querque!"]

    So of course, I have to go back and fill out the geography section so that I select everywhere BUT New England, even if it is my IDEAL PLACE TO LIVE. Right. THERE ARE NO THUNDERSTORMS. >:(

    It came out:
    Sheboygan, Eugene, Corvallis, Albu... QUERQUE.. that damn song's gonna be in my head FOREVER.
    Then Charleston (NOT Carolina), Eau Claire, Salem, Portland (both OR), Oshkosh/Appleton/Neenah, Wisconsin, then Arkansas (ARCHKansas, ArchEnemy of Kansas), Baltimore, Medford OR, Madison & Lacrosse WI, Frederick MD, Carson City (only 30 min to Reno, and relatively close to Sac, I guess), Bend OveR (it thinks I'd like Oregon... and Wisconson... WHY? Give me a little variety, at least) cause look Kenosha WISCONSIN... Milwaukee (Millewaukay... we're not worthy!) WISCONSIN... did I check a box that said I liked cheese somewhere? Because I really camembere it.
    Santa Fe, NM (let's open up a restaurant there), Champaign/Urbana, where my dad used to live, then CHICAGO? Chicago is the only place where you can get SHOT with a KNIFE (other than Detroit) and then somehow, Hartford CT sneaks onto the list. Assholes.

    • Current Music
      Foutains of Wayne until I can find where I stowed my damn Singles soundtrack I just bought



    1 San Francisco, CA (uh, yeah)
    2 Boston, MA-NH-ME sucks
    3 Long Island, NY sucks
    4 Washington, DC-MD-VA-WV hate DC
    5 Seattle-Bellevue-Everett, WA i've thought about it
    6 New York, NY this is the place i am trying to LEAVE
    7 Baltimore, MD not sure
    8 Pittsburgh, PA no thanks
    9 Chicago, IL SHOT with a KNIFE
    10 Newark, NJ used to live in that area i don't want to have to buy a new car each week cause my last was stolen pls ok tks

    11 Tampa-St. Petersburg-Clearwater, FL i hate swamps
    12 Bergen-Passaic, NJ WTF this is where i hate living NOW
    13 Minneapolis-St. Paul, MN-WI not baaahd, eh? could drive to visit spendocrat, i guess, eat cheese
    14 Middlesex-Somerset-Hunterdon, NJ if bergen is ass, central jersey is ass on a stick... bergen w/out the malls or easy driving distance to Fountains of Wayne ok pls die NJ die pls ok die tks die die die
    15 Monmouth-Ocean, NJ WTF DID I JUST SAY? Tom's River is too snobby/expensive anyway
    16 Syracuse, NY might as well live in Ithaca. not a permanent option
    17 Los Angeles-Long Beach, CA only if i can roll in compton with my boy ice cube
    18 Tacoma, WA watch out for the bridges
    19 New Haven-Meriden, CT CT that shit out
    20 Stamford-Norwalk, CT i am serious

    21 Cleveland-Lorain-Elyria, OH all the chicks with hidden dicks say
    22 Trenton, NJ only if I can escape to PA
    23 Providence-Fall River-Warwick, RI-MA I like providence, just not NE
    24 Oakland, CA i never need to return to oaktown. i've seen all i need to see in an all night diner there. then there was the bus driver. apparently, rascim's still a problem there. best depiction of the "wrong side of the tracks" ever, compared to SF
    25 Duluth-Superior, MN-WI MORE CHEESE YUMM
    26 Denver, CO i get nosebleeds a lot already
    27 San Diego, CA CA is too hot. I need rain and occasional snow nottheinformakind
    28 San Jose, CA yup
    29 Philadelphia, PA-NJ philly cheesesteaks and chrissmari! Not exactly my type of town, but liveable
    30 Danbury, CT ok now I hate you

    In conclusion, online location tests suck.
    • Current Music

    #tmbg on efnet is alive, and someone still has my Dark|Away nick. Stupid eurotrash.

    [14:57] <Bakanne> I'm looking on that 'best places to live' thing you posted dark
    [14:57] <Bakanne> those people are on crack
    <DarkSmile> Yeah
    <DarkSmile> It's a real estate scam
    <DarkSmile> Move to these places
    [14:57] <Bakanne> yeah
    <DarkSmile> we will get you a deal
    [14:57] <Bakanne> like chicago is sucks
    [14:57] <Bakanne> ah
    <DarkSmile> Yeah
    <DarkSmile> Read what I wrote?
    <DarkSmile> hee
    [14:59] <Bakanne> yeah
    [14:59] <Bakanne> I like your little comments there :D
    <DarkSmile> Hee hee
    <DarkSmile> I made a post about the comments, too
    <DarkSmile> heh
    * DarkSmile scratches his head.
    <DarkSmile> I think I got carried away
    [15:01] <Bakanne> hehe
    <DarkSmile> I enjoyed writing it, but I don't think anyone will go through and get all the jokes
    <DarkSmile> Like someone who skimmed the first post won't get the second test Chicago comment
    <DarkSmile> And the CT comments
    <DarkSmile> You kinda have to follow them
    [15:02] <Bakanne> yeah
    <DarkSmile> http://www.livejournal.com/talkread.bml?itemid=7417474&view=9243150#t9243150
    <DarkSmile> hee hee
    <DarkSmile> I love commenting myself
    <DarkSmile> No one ever expects it
    <DarkSmile> In fact, when I post something long and boring and use the lj-cut tag, I am going to leave myself 23 comments so it looks like it was an interesting thread
    <DarkSmile> Then people will read it no matter what
    [15:03] <Bakanne> Hahaha
    <DarkSmile> Or at least look twice at it
    <DarkSmile> Hee hee
    * DarkSmile <-- Ratbastard + Sidewinder = Rat baswinder
    [15:04] <Bakanne> :)
    <DarkSmile> Hee hee
    <DarkSmile> I am all but rofl myself
    <DarkSmile> at myself
    <DarkSmile> because I make me laugh
    [15:05] <Bakanne> that's a good thing
    <DarkSmile> Maybe that's sad, but I'm not crying
    <DarkSmile> :)
    [15:05] <Bakanne> it ensures you wont be without entertainment
    <DarkSmile> HI ANEE
    <DarkSmile> Yep
    [15:05] <Bakanne> SHE SAYS HI!
    <DarkSmile> Learn to laugh at yourself and you shall never cease to OHMIGODWHATISTHAAAAAUGHACKTHBBTTTT *DIE*
    * DarkSmile sings: o/` Anne Anne o/`
    * DarkSmile sings: o/` She raps shit like saran o/`
    * DarkSmile sings: o/` She's hardcore OG as a girl kewd be o/`
    * DarkSmile sings: o/` I once saw her drop a chump just cause he looked like Forrest Gump o/`
    [15:07] <Bakanne> I like that last line
    <DarkSmile> Hee hee
    <DarkSmile> DewD
    <DarkSmile> This Heart and the Lovemongers cover of The Battle of Evermore really does kick ass
    [15:08] <mOnZ> enna + baka = Bakanne?
    <DarkSmile> Singles Soundtrack, $3 = GEWD PURCHASS
    <DarkSmile> Yep
    [15:08] <Bakanne> yeppers
    <DarkSmile> Hee
    <DarkSmile> If I'd been in Cali right now we'd have three net couples
    <DarkSmile> LJ couples, at least
    [15:08] <mOnZ> kinky
    <DarkSmile> Since Michelle doesn't come here
    <DarkSmile> I wish I was still with Michelle. :(
    [15:09] *** obo (wubfur@dnai-216-15-97-204.cust.dnai.com) has joined #TMBG
    [15:09] * Bakanne hugs n@
    <DarkSmile> Let's go to ALBUQUERQUE!
    <DarkSmile> We will take the town over
    <DarkSmile> And make it #conversatron-#tmbg-LJ city
    [15:09] <Bakanne> you could drink out of the ashtrays
    [15:10] <Bakanne> its okay, they're clean!
    <DarkSmile> Yes!
    [15:10] <obo> too early to go to Albequerque- the morning sun has yet to climb my hood ornament
    <DarkSmile> It has the highest per capita rate of PH.D's anywhere
    <DarkSmile> Umm
    [15:10] <Bakanne> I'm fairly impressed
    <DarkSmile> That would melt your car
    <DarkSmile> I don't know if that link to the brochure worked
    <DarkSmile> But it looks like a kewl place
    <DarkSmile> I've always wanted to go
    <DarkSmile> it's like, a desert oasis city
    <DarkSmile> WhOO
    <DarkSmile> Now Jason can turn back into a regular geek
    [15:11] <Bakanne> me and my castlevania 2 references
    <DarkSmile> He's a WereHax0R
    [15:11] <Bakanne> haha
    <DarkSmile> By day, he's a mild mannered Gamer
    <DarkSmile> Excuse me, Gam0r
    [15:12] <mOnZ> Gamera!
    [15:12] * Bakanne is a friend to all children
    <DarkSmile> But by night, he consumes the WareZ of the Living
    [15:12] <Bakanne> hehe
    [15:16] <obo> on /. last week they were predicting the imminent death of EFNet (film @ 11, yadda, etc.) Wot sez #TMBG to that?
    [15:17] <Bakanne> efnet is UNDEAD
    [15:17] <Bakanne> duh
    [15:18] <obo> so as long as it steers clear of Buffy-the-IRC-Network-Slayer it's ok then?
    [15:19] <Bakanne> yes
    [15:19] <obo> i'm so relieved
    [15:19] <Bakanne> but it might spin off into its own series
    • Current Music
      (Heart and) the Lovemongers - The Battle of Evermore

    To my brother, Jon (http://www.livejournal.com/users/enragedfetus/)

    In reward for his meritorious service as a haiku bastard, I award my little bro Jon with his own pimped-out Final Fantasy icon. Welcome the Pimp Ninja.
    Ich bin ein Ninja!

    Jon, you are free to take this icon, modify it in any way/shape/form, and use it as your own. If you do not have the facilities, let me know and I will make any requested changes. If you cannot, for some reason, view .pngs, let me know that, too.
    • Current Music