July 14th, 2001


Space is the place!

I feel like I've got a piece of shrapnel stuck in my chest. If I move, it cuts deeper and deeper in, closer to my heart (a la Tony Stark/Iron Man). If I lie still, what difference is it from being dead? I feel helpless and immobilized. I want to change, but I also want to be understood as I am. I don't know why I do the things I do; I don't even notice myself being mean or callous. I just don't react to stuff like other people, whether because I'm built differently, or because I've tried to make myself this way, or some combination.

I haven't been withdrawing; that's a good sign. It's got to be.
  • Current Music
    Spacehog - Starside / Space is the Place

(no subject)

And she lays down and starts to cry
And he falls farther down deep inside
And the CD skips twice in the CD player
And the candlelit darkness seems a little grayer

Distant breakers on a raging seashore
Words from a Dylan Thomas poem
Grow larger in his mind as he recedes
And his thoughts withdraw and start to roam

A peaceful escape
with trouble denied
Everything's great
Or will be, with time

I don't feel this pain
Or anything at all
No, I don't feel anything
But very very small
lord, From this chair of mine...


She had to go into work. Me? I'm still... right... here. Giving blood; keeping the faith.
  • Current Music
    Joydrop - Beautiful