April 14th, 2001

lord, From this chair of mine...

"I'll Remember the way that you changed me." (http://www.livejournal.com/talkread.bml?itemid=3006811)

To say that I was sad today would be hasty. I thought I was sad, but when it came right down to it, I was just feeling down. You see, the thing is, I have been happy and sad and all sorts of feelings in this past week. My precious biochemistry is not used to all this emotion, so I think my seratonin and endorphins and whatnot just plain ran out. So, I came down off my high. I felt sad, I felt like things were never going to work out for me.

All in all, I managed to recapture myself, if not the day, by sheer force of will and the unwillingness to stop smiling. I listened to Bjork all the way to work, even though I was late (part of what went wrong; no train for 25 minutes). Damned if Debut isn't pretty much how I feel right now. Cute blonde was looking at me all the way downtown and smiling as I sang. Too bad. She can't have me!

W0rk was pretty laem early on, a lot of people, but not much going on, until a shelf collapsed and all these crystal wiz0rdZ fell down; luckily, no damage. About that time I realized all my frowny feelings were just me trying to sabotage my happiness again. Then I took my break over to St. Mark's, grab some pizza (no meat; I didn't want to wait) and I went back to hang with/near the skaterZ. It was funny... I was watching all this Indie Hardcore action listening to... Something to Remember. Ha ha ha. I am even more Indie. I am Hardcore Indie PoZ0r p0p rockm0nsteragious. And a half.

Work did seem to go fast, probably because I spent most of my time spaced out, thinking about people I missed. It was VERY nice to come home and realize that someone was feeling the exact same way.

In other news, I finally downloaded ALL my voicemail to this computer, so I have all your voices saved. Among the highlights, I've got Michelle and Nemo singing, a robotic [baka], a story from biiiz, and Chrissy saying "tawk" in that cute accent she doesn't have! ;)

I may have to get another account if I can!

The song I linked in the title is dedicated to all the women who've touched my life in the past few weeks (and more) and who've made it (my life) a special place to be. If you have to ask, does he mean me, then yeah, probably. :) Even Amanda, who deserves mad props for many things.
  • Current Music
    Nirvana - Come as You Are

You should PASS on this entry.

Umm... can my last journal entry serve as an example/case-in-point? I don't know what it proves. Either I had unprecedented clarity of thought, or I was just so bored that I was reciting what I would say over and over again. So... umm... you guys actually get a diary-style "what I did for my day" entry.

At least I forgot the bad poetry I was composing. Quiet down, quiet down. I know you guys all love my bad poems. Umm... so I will make one up on the spot.

Johnny was a-walking down a Village street
Peepin' all the skater kids thinking they was kinda neet
He didn't learn to shred, no instead
He let them pierce another hole into his head

Now Johnny's all indie
He's becoming such a punk
He'll end up with tons of indie cred
Or more likely, he'll end up dead

Johnny saw the tat parlor
Had a section for his head
So he got himself a pipe
trading in some hard-earned bread

Johnny took it home and lit it up
He didn't notice something was wrong
Damned fool was so high
He didn't notice it was oregano in his bong

Bong-ba-bong-ba-brong-brong

Johnny thinks he's a stoner
He thinks he's a head case
He was just a p0zer
and a real-life knife put him in his place

The moral of the story is
DON'T FUCK WITH THIS SHIT.
Stay in your suburb and await further orders.

Okay, that was just silly. :D

I'm sorry.
  • Current Music
    Madonna - Oh, Father
This is not my beautiful icon.

My first love.

Madonna Louise Ciccone.

This video.
That dress.
That hair.
That voice.
This passion.
This emotion.
This song.
  • Current Music
    Madonna - Live to Tell

Nemo is back.

AND SHE STILL ROCKS THE WORLD, BETTER THAN EVER.

As in, Set phasers to ROCK and aim them at the WORLD.

AND THEN FIRE!!!
  • Current Music
    Madonna - Crazy for You

And...

There goes the last light outdoors shutting off automatically. And I am left last man standing, once again. I better get downstairs... I've heard horror stories about doing laundy on the weekends.

And then there's this song, which is strangely appropriate.
  • Current Music
    Simon and Garfunkel - Only Living Boy

Huh... what do you know?

There were no lines, and the place was even open early. I was all set to wait.

Well, now I wait... for the cycle to end, and to start drying.Then whites... maybe I will wash everything today.

Crap. Now I get tired. I guess the excitement of frantic laundering is gone.

And yes, I'm a morning person and a night person. I'm just not a late afternoon person. That's why I used to sleep through that part of the day and then again in the wee hours.

Now I need to go hijack Grammy's cable for some cartoons.

One last thing... last night I was talking about what a mess I'd made of my life when a little birdy told me that instead of trying to make everyone happy, I should just make myself happy. Where have I heard that before? Anyway, I think I took a big step in that direction last night, and I can only apologize if what I did brought anyone pain. Yes, I did it for me, and I loved it.
  • Current Music
    Tool - Pushit

A letter to an imaginary future mother-in-law.

Dear Ms. [Maidenname],

I hope this letter finds you well. Yes, I'm the boy (man?) your daughter has told you about. I wanted to tell you what a pleasure it's been getting to know your daughter. I never dreamt I would meet someone quite like her, even though she's the kind of woman I'd only dreamed of. I hope that I can take the kind of care of your daughter that you'd always hoped for, but most importantly, I hope that I can make her happy. Right now, that's the most important thing in my life, and I can't see it changing. So I'll keep this short and tell you plainly that I hope you have room in your heart for another person, because your daughter does.

Wishing you love,
[signature]
  • Current Music
    TV: X-Men
lord, From this chair of mine...

(no subject)

Oh, yeah, the laundry room is getting packed. Lucky I was early.

Everything I HAD to do is done, so that's good.

Ignore that last post. The letter ended up pretty confrontational because I am tired and didn't want to stare at it for another hour, so I got mad at it and just ended it. :D
I'd never need to be that brusque... parents always love me. I don't know why, but they love to have their daughters bring me home.

I vote I sleep standing up through work. I'm realizing I've only slept two good hours in the last three, three-and-a-half days.