February 4th, 2001

This is not my beautiful icon.

Stuck

The Big Dipper hangs overhead, king of the sky
A single cold tear crystallizes at the corner of my eye
The music in my ear plays as loud as a whisper
Drowned out by the voices telling me I don't miss her
...

I'm not sure... I think this may be the most beautiful thing I've ever written, but I can't finish it. Dammit.
  • Current Music
    Leona Naess - Lonely Boy

Take it out on you

Blah blah blah blah and more blah blah blah some more.
It's like I need to write, but I don't need to say anything.
Only I do. Just not right now. Maybe?
I wish I understood. I wish I could control it.
Maybe Dylan Thomas it (sorry Caitlin) and let alcohol be my muse; free my muse.
A drunken now, junken pow
Rock, paper, one-armed scissor
In divisor-able
Riding down the co-ax cable
Flickering images of Betty Grable
Mr. Cain wasn't Abel
Mr. Cain wasn't Abel
Not feeling very stable
But I can't push—
Want to be pushed
over
fall
move somewhere, anywhere
"Anger is a gift." Anger is a .gif
Anger is a rocking in the wind push me off a cliff
So I take it out on you
Though I wanted to be blue
I turn the screws, I do, it's true
I turn to you, I turn to blue
I turn green, the face of a drowning victim obscene
Contorted, twisted, I musta missed it
So sophistic
ated / ate it
I just fucking hate it
I'm overcome and underdone
I wonder when the fun will come
I fear the blinding of the sun
I fear the windings of your eyes that stun
Subsume, consume, nothing left to exhume from my tomb
The Fruit of My Doom under there (underwear? Thanks Naked Ladies so Bare)

I think I can recommend
an end.

That so needed to get out, no doubt.
Time to sleep... FOREVER!!!
  • Current Music
    Leona Naess - All I Want

Letters, Numbers, and Shapes, oh my!

I've been doing the whole "What is six times nine?" thing with these letter/shape alphabet cookies. I just pulled ID, the abbreviation for my IRC nick, and then C and 4. Mmm... I ate C4.
  • Current Music
    Misfits - Hate Breeders

MisFitting in, with a Danzig-a-zig-ha

I bet if I'd gotten into all the cool stuff I'm into now back then, I would have been cool. I'm just starting to listen to the Misfits, for example, when that's something you're clearly supposed to do in high school. If I'd been into them then, I would have certainly been cool, at least among those types of people.

But then I think back and recall that I went to a nerd high school in the first place, and that I was cool. Granted, no one wanted to date me other than the sister of the kid with behavioral problems, but hey, Chicks Are Whack. It takes a while for them to mature into the fine women who know me and love me today. I'm cool with that. Because I'm cool.
  • Current Music
    Misfits - I Turned into a Martian