November 25th, 2000

A Night's Observations

I am the bomb shit, sorta. I learned mad BASIC 5<|11Z tonight. QBiZZizASIC is my biotch, beeyatch! I wrote an independent calendar program based on the day of the week the year starts on. I even took leap year into account. I set the program up in a way that showed a lot of forethought, and, I think, quite a bit of natural programming talent (the kind I used to beast my robot thru a maze). The higher-end stuff is still beyond me, but I can come up with elegant solutions (read: recursions) to mundane programming challenges. I fixed the Louis program, too, so that it now times correctly. The problem was simply that I had put one of the variable declarations in the wrong place. I was really tired (and at work) when I'd programmed it at first, so I was bound like Gena Gershon to make a mistake like that. And no, I haven't seen the movie, but yes, I do like lesbians.

Ed Wood is on now. I don't know why I like this movie, but I do. It's got Johnny Depp, who I actually like as an actor (Raoul Duke, m'man). It has Vampyra, precursor of Elvira. And it's got Martin Landau as Bela Lugosi. I can't tell you how that rocks my socks. It's like having Corinne Bohrer play Victoria Jackson, or Bernadette Peters playing Madeline Kahn. Except I'm not attracted to Lugosi or Landau. But Landau (name means some type of 19th C. carriage; saw it in the dictionary once and it stuck, probably because I was a) suprised to see it and b) disappointed the picture was not of him) was my reason for watching Mission: Impossible. That's why I haven't even bothered with the latest Cruise/Woo film, because I heard it's all action and no intrigue. M:I was all about Landau spending the episode disguised as a foreign dignitary and pulling off covert shit ninja style, not blowing up cities. The Chinese could learn a lot from the Japanese. It's not all flash-boom. There's a lot of coolness inherent in stealth. Jackie Chan movies have their place, but they're not the be-all and end-all.

Sarrica Jessica Parker's in this movie, too. I don't think she's pretty. Maybe she just looks too JAPpy. The nose and the mole and all, it's not ugly, it's just not, say, Corinne... *dreamy expression*
And so is Bill Murray. Forgot about him. Maybe it's because all his roles since after Caddyshack have sort of just run together into TheBillMurrayCharacter. It's like you can watch any Murray movie for your daily dose of Murray. They're all the same. I don't even pay attention to his appearances anymore. Harsh.

I am never going to make it up tomorrow morning in time for cartoons! Bah! I have to go to Cousin Alice's. She's quit smoking now that her son Cousin Mark's shotgun baby's here. Another sad soul it'll be my job to save when his/her mommy and daddy are too busy fighting to love him/her. Since she's selling her house, too, the basement is alledgedly all spiffed up. I'm hoping that means pool (which starts with a p and that rhymes with t and that stands for Tool. Ha! Take THAT, Music Man. Trouble in River City, my ass. Ransom, on the other hand...) but probably not, because it never does. The one place I can play damn near unlimited games of free pool is the one place I am, of course, never allowed to play. It feels, for some reason, like I'm being made to sit at the kids' table though they're all under ten and I'm 14 again. I'm taking Big Jim Slade with me (what I'm typing on now, and what I use to program in basic) along with shitloads of extension cord, if for no other reason than to be a ballbreaker. I'll get asked lots of questions I may feel like ignoring, and ignoring my relatives makes me feel like a big man. They can't make me sit at the kids' table anymore. I'm almost 21 so I'll get drunk and kill them all. Fucking relatives.

And it's Jeanine's birthday (Observed) so we get to see what her latest saga is. I wonder how long Senator Al will bitch her out this year while his daughter Tara runs amok. I was thinking of getting her a present related to kleptomania or one of her other psychoses, but I forgot what it was and now I have until later today. Oh, well. The same meaningless family submission will have to do. "A check for five dollars? Gawrsh! That sure is swell, Aunt Mary!" Unfortunately, my mother has so many little bastards she has to give money to, she can't afford much more than that, even when she wants to. That's why I only give to people I want to give to, and then only if I see something special that would really make their day. Usually me seeing that thing doesn't fall anywhere near Christmas or a birthday, but my friends have learned to understand I'm a) poor, b) rebellious and independent, c) a pretty good, if not heartfelt gift-giver. Presents for me are where you find them. I'm sure that ethic will screw my kids up to no end at some point, assuming a girl escapes the clutches of a mental asylum long enough to marry me.

Time for bed. G'night, world. G'night, Big Jim. The great thing about a portable is that you can hug it. Umm... a, err, manly hug, of course. Yeah.... Any-way...

Sooo lonely...

What the--?!: Mutie Ecchs-Factor = $ale$!

I seen da new X-men cartoon. It's Degrassi Jr. High! So far, in each episode there's an unpopular mutie kid that gets picked on, the X-men try and save him from being outcast, but deep down, he's still evil because he doesn't fit in. The only exceptions are Kurt (Night-Boompher, because in the comics he goes *boomph!*) who has a dee-vice what makes him look normal (he's also foreign, and it's bad to hate foreign people. All the evil mutants are cracker-ass rednecks. That's okay.) and Rogue, who's a cute Goth chick who occasionally says y'all rather than beat us over the head with the fact that she's southern by say, HAVING AN ACCENT. Why is Rogue a Goth? She's a cute outcast. End of story.

Storm has gone from being one of the new muties in the 80's to being older than everyone except Logan. She's supposed to be even younger than Shadowcat, I thought. And speaking of Shadowcat... Why, God? WHY? They made my darling Kitty Pryde (almost typed Genovese on a reflex. Gack!) into a complete ditz. Just because she's the "young one." At least they remembered to add a pointless minority character (Spyke). Because the comic books didn't have enough black people back in the day. It's X-Men continuity. We'll just send some back to an alternative timeline which will spawn its own gold-foil chrome color series. The X-Factor never fail$!

Wow, sucks to be you.

The nature of this weekend has relegated the majority of my journaling to my portable, so you all have to suffer through a lot of bad poetry. I mean damn. I'm just sorry. Really sorry. Sorry you're you, and suffering. Being me is still pretty cool, as always.

Pulverized under lies
I can't break free
They're crushing me
I've been sedated
Feel constipated
Can't get extricated

It's overwhelming
I'm stifled
I choke
Feels awful
Goes on
And on
Why won't
the pain
be gone.