November 15th, 2000

Cry

Wow almost emotional breakdown tonight. Dealing suicide coping not the memories. Tears they flow, the cheeks bathed or not, I withhold. I withdraw. Too close to the reality of being again the mind's pure thoughts to page flow though not a humor of ship captainry. Would that I'd feel could I be truly sad not disturbed the release of inner emotion a man who could cry would be stronger not the weak.To lose the friend to lose composure to loose the floodgates a tide of me drowning unable to handle every man's burden.

Why the fuck can't I cry?!! I wanted to tonight. I rilly did. When someone mentions being suicidal, and you remember how maybe, just maybe you once saved someone's life, you should FUCKING CRY dammit! It's not fair. It's not fucking fair.
  • Current Music
    Cake - Prolonging the Magic

(no subject)

It's not like I put up an emotional wall; I always have one up. I wanted to tear it down, even for just a second.
  • Current Music
    Ookla the Mok - Das Uber Tuber

(no subject)

All y'all mothafuckers best back up off-- I'm 'bout to go on tha air! I gots to git all dis cursifying shizznit outs my blizz-ood or I'm 'bout to bust up some FCC regulazi-zations and git my pale black mocha motherfuckin' ass t'rown offa da izz-air.

Well, sheee-it. That actually felt good. My shift performance is very mood dependent. So I'm trying to be positive! Non-Ithacans tune in with Real Audio, and e-mail me your requests!
  • Current Music
    Radiohead - Optimistic