<Dark> Card #1: The present
<Dark> Sharing (Fire South aka Queen of Wands): When you draw this card, it suggests that you are in a situation where you have the opportunity to share your love, your joy, and your laughter.
<Dark> In sharing, you find that you feel even more full
<Dark> You find that you can enjoy sensuality without possessiveness or attachment.
<Dark> Everything around you seems to be coming together now.
<Dark> Card #2: The past
<Dark> Breakthrough (XI): All of us reach a point where we realize "enough is enough."
<Dark> aka me leaving Cornell
<Dark> Or my present job?
<Dark> I have three major arcana in this spread
<Dark> and two court cards
<Dark> Card #3: The future
<Dark> The Lovers (VI): As we begin to mature, we can begin to experience the love that exists beyond sexuality and honors the unique individuality of the other.
<Dark> We understand the partner often functions as a mirror, reflecting unseens aspects of our deeper self and supporting us to become whole.
<Dark> This love is based in freedom, not expectation or need.
<Dark> I like this part
<Dark> Very few people know what love is. Ninety-nine percent of people think sex is love- it is not.
<Dark> It is only a potential. If you become alert, aware, and meditative, sex can be transformed into love.
<Dark> And if your meditativeness becomes total, love can be transformed into compassion.
<Dark> Sex is the seed, love is the flower, compassion is the fragrance.
<Dark> Card #4: What's holding you back
<Dark> Nothingness (V): Being in the gap can be disorienting. Nothing to hold on to, not even a hint of what choices and possibilities might lie ahead. But it was just this state of pure potential that existed before the universe.
<Dark> All you can do now is relax into this nothingness... fall into the silence between words... watch the gap between the outgoing and incoming breath.
<Dark> And treasure each empty moment of the experience. Something sacred is about to be born.
<Dark> Card #5: To your advantage
<Dark> Turning in (4 of Water aka Cups):
<Dark> Oh, I LIKE this card
<Dark> The woman on this card has a faint smile on her face. She is watching the antics of the mind - not judging, not trying to stop them. not identified, just watching as if they were traffic on the road.
<Dark> The antics of the mind are slightly amusing, as it jumps up and down and twists this way and that, trying to get your attention and seduce you into the game.
<Dark> To develop the knack of taking a distance from the mind is one of the greatest blesssings. It's what meditation is about, really - not chanting a mantra - but just watching, as if the mind belonged to someone else.
<Dark> And final card
<Dark> Card #6: Resolution
<Dark> Flowering (South of Rainbows aka Queen of Pentacles)
<Dark> Zen wants you living, living in abundance, living in totality, living intensely - not at the minimum as Christianity wants you, but at the maximum, over-flowing.
<Dark> Your life should reach to others. Your blissfulness, your benediction, your ecstasy should not be contained within you like a seed.
<Dark> It should open like a flower and spread its fragrance to all and sundry - not only to friends, but strangers too.
<Dark> This is real compassion, this is real love: Sharing your enlightenment, sharing your dance of the beyond.
It's also a very feminine spread, with two queens, a female on Turning in and effeminate/androgynous figures on the lovers card. And WHOA trump cards. I find it especially neat that the regular old minor arcana card of Turning in will triumph over the big bad trump that is No-Thingness. The answer lies in simplicity.
This spread was really really nice. Very positive, and indicative of the strengthening of my relationship with Michelle. The feminine cards suggest her influence, and the major arcana and court cards suggest the strength and importance of this influence. Breakthrough in my past is not so much indicative of any one break from routine, but rather a series of releases I've had; from leaving school for awhile to going out to see Michelle in the face of everyone but a few (mostly on-line friends who've been supportive). It's also been a part of this whole recognizing myself as me and not as my reflection in the eyes of others. Except Michelle; hers is the only mirror that matters, because it is a mutual mirror, and not a desperate search for approval. Hence the Lovers card.
The Lovers also signify other things in the tarot; usually a commitment of sorts. A marriage to an idea, if you will. Deciding on something and sticking with it. No-Thingness and Sharing are where I am right now; in between jobs; lives, but overflowing with love (flowering, as it were, from the frightened seed who wouldn't shed his protective husk). Sure, I can be hurt now that I am a delicate flower, but I am so much more beautiful. It's not just the hidden beauty inside as Michelle saw it.
Michelle, strangely enough, is the strength card. In this deck, it is called Courage, and goes something like this:
"This card shows a small wildflower that has met the challenge of the rocks and stones in its path to emerge into the light of day. Surrounded by an aura of bright golden light, it exposes the majesty of its tiny self. Unashamed, it is equal to the brightest sun.
"When we are faced with a very difficult situation, we have a choice: we can either be resentful, and try to find somebody or something to blame for the hardships, or we can face the challenge and grow. The flower shows us the way, as its passion for life leads it out of the darkness and into the light. There is no point fighting against the challenges of life, or trying to avoid or deny them. They are there, and if the seed is to become the flower, we must go through them. Be courageous enough to grow into the flower you are meant to be.
"The seed cannot know what is going to happen; the seed has never known the flower. And the seed cannot even believe that she has the potentiality to become a beautiful flower. Long is the journey, and it is always safer not to go on that journey because the path is unknown; nothing is guaranteed. Thousand and one are the hazards on the journey, many are the pitfalls - and the seed is secure, hidden inside a hard core. But the seed tries, it makes an effort; it drops the hard shell which is its security, it starts moving. Immediately, the fight starts: the struggle with the soil, with the stones, with the rocks. And the seed was very hard and the sprout will be very, very soft and the dangers will be many.
"There was no danger for the seed, the seed could have survived for millennia, but for the sprout, many are the dangers. But the sprout starts toward the unknown, towards the sun, towards the source of light, not knowing where, no knowing why. Great is the cross to be carried, but a dream possesses the seed and the seed moves. The same is the path for man. It is arduous. Much courage will be needed."
"That's just fucking heroic." -George Carlin, talking about how much he likes the little weeds that grow in the cracks of the sidewalks.
Her, I love. I've turned within to see this turmoil, and I laugh. What is jealousy, what is impatience, what is time where love is concerned?
No big thing.