I was transformed last night... I was healed by love and understanding.
I'd be doing what I described in that seppuku poem. And it was killing Michelle.
Once again, you can't love somebody if you don't love yourself. But not the way I thought. I thought that you wouldn't be capable of love; that loving was a sign you loved yourself. Not so. But you can't really love someone and not yourself because your self-hatred will tear them apart with you, and that's not the kind of thing you do to someone you love. Not exactly a Catch-22, but maybe you've got the idea.
Dammit, I am a pretty fucking cool guy. And not just because of the amazing women I've dated and almost dated. I'm not defined by their interest in me (now you know why I was such a whore for attention).
Where do I go from here? Up, I hope. Oh, and west, to the city of Trees.
