Of course, she didn't get it. So I explained it to her, and she said, OH, that Pilate. Not like, pilot! Bless her heart, I think she actually did understand it. Good. I don't like stupid girls (shut up, all of you. You're not stupid; I can hear you think it!). So I showed her a simple spread with three cards and she wanted to know what it meant. I told her that I hadn't had a question in mind, so it didn't mean anything, but would she like a reading? Of course she did. So I told her to keep a question in mind and shuffle the deck. So I gave her her reading on blah blah, would she have lots of children. All the time; I'm struggling to make sense of a shitty card layout, because I'm shitty at reading tarot cards, but she's loving every minute of watching me squirm (I dunno, maybe it was 'cute') and ramble explanations of how this card reversed is still a good card, so don't worry. Meanwhile, her little sister (the fifteen year old who did NOT look fifteen except for her 'invisible' braces) has wandered of to the magic 8-Balls to ask questions about her boyfriend. She comes back, and the big sister is like ask it the important question, all whispering like, but so I can hear, intentional or not: "Gay or straight?" So I'm laughing as she's hissing at this poor girl through her teeth. Because at that moment, I knew. I'm dense, but not THAT dense. She'd already gone far enough to assure me that the person who'd lied/abandoned her in the past "was not a boy, by the way. It was a girl." That and the fact that her sister was trying to drag her out of the store, and they ended up arguing for five minutes just so the big sister could stay and get a bullshit tarot reading. Yeah, right. So, I finished the reading, and bid them good luck at the other store; the one the little sister had wanted to visit before it closed while the big one (Lorenna, she introduced herself) had wanted to stay for her "free reedin'." Hmm... when they introduced themselves and asked for my name, that would have been the time to whip out the business cards. I'm dead serious... all the dating books I've read (i.e., borrowed from Tom, thanks!) have told me that having business cards is actually a great way to share info like that without seeming obtrusive. It finally made sense to me. But, hey. They said they'd come back. They never did.
"I never dreamed
I'd learn to love the taste of bitter fictions
or the ring of contradictions
that sing to me...
you could get anything you want"
Today, I could have gotten anything I wanted. I was dead tired, for sure, but kick, punch, it's all in the mind. What fucked up luck that I already have what I want most. :)
Today was perfect. There were ups and downs, but mostly ups. And Michelle: today there were no doubts; no pangs. Just hapiness. Thank you so much for talking to me last night. I'm going to try to nap and wake up for when you get home. Call me in case! ;)