song change... "yes this is the campaign circuit slithered entrail in the cargo bay"
and shitfuck the arnsbarger until it bleeds and it bleeds and it bleeds and finally fucking dies." I want to wrap up all my remaining post-adolescent seething aimless rage and forge it into a blade of the kind of immense strength my parents always blithely believed I'd have. My problem? Maybe you don't know me well enough, but if you do, you'll know it... confidence. I feel like the fucking cliche-ass cowardly lion. Girls don't scare me as much as the prospect of getting a job does. It's just too open-ended for me
song change... "darkness together... we'll bring in the night... in darkness together we ignite"
to deal with. I need somewhere to start. I'm very unfocused. Mentally, I've always been pretty unfocused
song change (yeah, short songs now)... "we are 138... we are 138"
but what can I do? There are all these jobs out there and only one little me. I don't know where I want to work. I have no idea.
Ooh, good song change... "I just want to be loved by you"
song change... "and now she's found someone else, my Irish angel"
song repeat, dammit. it fits my mood
I'm certainly scared I will never change, that I will always stop at the fork rather than forge boldly on. And to think, I've thought of myself as the type of person who would just press on in a straight line, fuck either path. What a total fucking lie.
song change... "that's the irony of this debate / that's the fly that's been left in my cake"
God fucking damn it. I suppose now is as good a time as any to check up on that list of psychiatric referrals that my Gannett counselor gave me. I get paid next week, so I can now afford mental care. Whoo.
last song... "oooooh... Stop."
