The Enemy of the Good (eideteker) wrote,
The Enemy of the Good
eideteker

kingseyeland is my mancrush of the day

JK: The Black Keys, March 16, 2012. Conseco Fieldhouse. Wait, what?

Comments:
N@: Ugh, I can't stand Fergie. She should go back to England.

JK: I can never remember whether The Black Keys are brother/sister or husband/wife.

TH: I really liked Shake Your Money Maker, but their new stuff is pretty meh.

JM: That was a devastating pandemic in it's day.

DP: not The Vogue?

JK: Not the Vogue. I guess now that Ozzy is back with them, they can play bigger venues.

JK: RIP Ronnie Van Zant

N@: I think Jack Black is a husband, but Alicia Keys is definitely a sister.

N@: And Townes.

N@: Also Gus

JK: Townes Van Zant was a sister?

N@: Well, he sure as fuck wasn't a bullfrog.

JK: You're thinking of "Jeremy" by Soundgarden.

N@: Oh right. I always confuse my Grudge rockers. It's all the long, straight, black hair.

JDW: The Blacks Keys?

MP: I think that was Jeremiah

JK: That's racist.

MP: Only if you're a bullfrog

JK: Not all grunge rockers have long, straight black hair. Look at Cab Calloway.

JM: Toad the Wet Sprocket

N@: That's the guy who formed Death Cab for Kewpie, right?

MP: The New York Kewpie Dolls?

N@: I'm trying to remember if that's the band that gave us Baxter Poindexter/Scarlett Johanson.

MP: Scarry Jo plays the music of Tom Waiting on a Train

JK: You sure you don't mean Lynyrd Cohyn?

N@: I just remember Tom Waits For No Man.

MP: Didn't they die in a plane crash?

JK: Tom Waits for No Man is my favorite Cohyn brothers film.

MP: Mine is Free as a Bird

JK: ^ Great lyrics by Lenin/McCarthy.

N@: Plane crash, or was it a helicopter? I might be confusing it with the time Billy Joe from Green Day went Back to the USSR.

MP: Billy Joe? Did he sing Piano Man?

N@: "They're not gonna catch me, no; not gonna catch the paperback rider."

MP: Lenin was assassinated when he went Back to the USSR...

N@: I love the stuff they did as the Allmen Brothers, even if that's redundant. Of course if they're brothers, they're all men!

JK: It was a plane crash -- the day the music died, taking with it Billie Holliday, the Blitzkrieg Bopper, and Richie Van Halen.

MP: All men except for Cher

MP: The music died in a Chevy at the levee...

N@: Oh, ok, I was confusing them with the Traveling Wallabys, who did that song about the Men Down Under.

JK: They posed the immortal question: Are we not men? No, we are Dinosaur, Jr.!

MP: They're all at work

N@: Wait wait WAIT. Didn't Def Leppard do that song about the Chevy's Brakes?

N@: I mean, it was a blues traditional cover, but they made it famous. To white people.

MP: The Chevy accident was why the drummer lost his arm and half his mind

MP: Or maybe I'm thinking of John Ford Coley...

MP: Not Chevy

N@: no man, it was Pete Seger who covered Roscoe P. Coltrane.

JK: Terrible accident. Choked on a ham sandwich and died while driving. He had a great WWF wrestling career, too.

N@: My bad, that was Thorogood.

N@: Thorogood P. Marshall. Crenshaw. Jr.

JK: He's my favorite member of The Supremes.

MP: Thurgood Marshall was my favorite

N@: C'mon, though. They can't stack up with the Steve Martin Band. "I'm a Wild and Crazy Joker"? CLASSIC song.

N@: Srsly, we're talking dessert island disc.

MP: King Tut tut tut

CJW: Very humerus gentlemen

MP: Didn't they find a golden banjo in his tomb?

MP: ...and an arrow through his head?

MP: Or maybe that was Nero...

JK: Let's not forget: Steve Martin created the classic car driven in the Jason Bourne film, Goldschlaager.

MP: I thought it was Martin Short...

N@: No, you're confusing your Canadians. That was Moranis Alisette.

JK: Who went on to play Gozer the Ironic.

JK: Nero, as I understand, played the fiddle while Georgia burned.

N@: Was that the same night Chicago died? So sad about Cetera.

MP: His brother, Ed, just passed...

JK: True, same night. Luckily, they were able to soldier on due to Tom Scholz's excellent production, which he developed during his tenure on "Hogan's Family."

MP: Didn't he play Schultz?

JK: Ed never got over Chappaquiddick.

N@: How could he forget? That tune was so catchy.

"You'll remember the Chappaquiddick, they'll remember the love."

N@: Not sure, Michael. I remember nuzzink!

MP: He had enough love to go around and around and around

MP: Chappaquiddick is coming out with a new flavor

JK: Love is all around. -- Love the Carol Burnett theme!

MP: I always love Rhoda on that show

N@: Shame what happened to the star of Hogan's Family... killed by that Daniel Day Foe guy.

MP: The last Mohican?

JK: Previous Chappaquiddick flavors included Fish Food, Chunky Kennedy, and Scot Free.

N@: Rhoda was great as Nurse Ratchet in that Mel Brooks movie about the asylum.

JK: Planet of the 12 Monkeys?

N@: Oh, now you had to go and bring up the Miracle Man, John. I thought we were done talking about Ozzy, or is the solo career still game?

N@: "There's always monkeys in the banana stand." ha ha ha ha love that show

MP: That was stolen from the Osbournes

N@: I couldn't stand them. Donnie OR Marie.

N@: They were BOTH a little bit cunty, if you ask me.

MP: He was only a little bit rock n roll

N@: Though Dwayne Johnson was awesome on that show.

JK: Donnie loved boxing.

JK: He really showed Lisa Bonet a thing or two about college life.

MP: Dwayne Johnson was a great boxer

JK: That he was. Who could forget the Rumble in Macho Grande?

N@: I loved those shades! Always freaked me out when he flipped them up and had those mirrored eyes, though. And how the fuck did that movie get a triple X rating? (And a spinoff/sequel, amirite?)

N@: I always confuse that one with the Treasure of Sienna Miller.

JK: Those shades were fantastic. I loved how when he put them on, he could see aliens and secret messages, like elvish lettering on rings and shit.

N@: "Vajes? We don't need no stinky vajes!"

N@: "PUT THE GLASSES ON" Mekhi Pfeiffer's finest moment.

N@: Aside from marrying Michelle in that Amish Paradise movie.

JK: Hubert Humphrey made some great films, but Mekhi Pfeiffer will always be the one true Catwoman.

N@: Not a fan of Lolita, sorry.

JK: Not a Peter Weller fan, or is it Stanley Laurel's directing?

N@: I really did like that scene where by the end she's smashed the window so all you can see is the reflection of the word "Psycho" from the Bates Motel across the way. Tony Hopkins' finest moment.

N@: (Though I also loved him in Roger Rabbit.)

JK: Kathy Bates owns a motel?

N@: Please. Peter Weller should have stuck with the Jam.

JK: (Also, if you like Tony Hopkins, you need to check out Enter the Dragon.)

N@: Oh! Harold Saxon was awesome in that as Roper from Ebert & Roper. It's probably the role that landed him that character in Double Dragon.

JF: This thread... breathtaking.

N@: Ha ha ha, like Irving Berlin's theme song for Top Gun?

JK: Saxon was my favorite arcade game. Cool that Mr. Roper learned how to play despite all the time he devoted to his role on Three Men and a Baby.

N@: The whole company was good on that show.

JK: Irving Berlin's film, The Seventh Sign, remains one of my faves.

N@: Seriously, we will never see another cast like Tom Hanks, Tom Selleck, and Tom Danson.

N@: I just wish they could have included Tommy Danza, but he was busy on that project with Tina Turner. "Hold me closer, private dancer."

N@: faces? Hah! Surely you meant feces? DYAC! LOL

JK: Mona Turner. Mona. But back to the topic at hand: Can you believe Jose Canseco owns an arena in Indianapolis?

N@: I cannot. I was always sure it was going to be MacGuire. Toby.

N@: (you know, Superman)

JK: His friends call him Big Mack The Knife.

MP: I step away for a minute and see what happens...can't leave you two alone for a second.

N@: I remember those ad campaigns. I never want to eat at Arby's again.

MP: It's America's Roast Beef, though...you have to

N@: Oh shit, reading back, I meant TOD Danson. I always confuse him with Judge Nelson.

JK: Never eat Arby's after midnight, or you'll turn into a Critter.

MP: Only if you get wet

MP: Then you turn into a goonie

JK: Ah, yes. Well, good thing we have America's roast beef, because if you get that stuff from England, you can get Raging Bull disease.

MP: Not if you put on some Gray Poop on it

JK: I'll see if this guy next to me has some...

N@: Only if you eat the Carlitos. (Remember THAT one? "Drop the Carlito, my little friend!" Actually... kinda racist in retrospect.)

MP: Meet my little friend...the Carlito's Way

JK: Mario Andretti's best novel

MP: I forgot he was a paperback writer...

JK: Figured you'd know that one, what with being our school Liberian.

N@: I kind of wish they would bring back the paperback raita. I was naan too pleased when they discontinued it.

MP: It goes really well with liberry pies...

MP: I love it when liberries are in season

MP: ...and Liberian liberries are the best

JK: Too bad they toil in the shadows of our country's two major berries. Maybe one day voters will listen to a guy like Ru Paul.

MP: I think he's got a real shot at the President...

MP: of course, then he would probably get caught and go to jail

JK: If he had magic bullets, he could pull it off by himself, and he wouldn't have to fear the wrath of Ronald Kuby.

N@: That's the guy who wrote that Charlie Chaplin and the Chocolate Factory story, right?

JK: Yes, and the film adaptation, Modern Times, directed by Friz Freling.

MP: I think Ru Paul should pick George Clinton as his running mate...can an ex-President become Vice-President?

N@: Oh yeah! I loved the 80s version! Modern Times at Ridgemont High. Spinelli? Classic.

N@: I don't know if I agree with Clinton's foreign policy. I think he's too hawkish. Always talking about dropping da bomb.

MP: I'm just afraid he'd really funk up the country

JK: Taxpayers will not want to fund his mothership.

MP: Ross Perot would

JK: Perot makes the best wine.

N@: Especially Perot Noir.

MP: I love that style of cinema

JK: His brother, Neil Perot, is a fantastic drummer.

MP: But he has a bad habit of rushing through songs

N@: Honestly, if we're going to bring back any ex-president, it should be Chris Carter. His X-Prize really gave space exploration a boost. Clinton talked big about the mothership, but Carter actually put the money where his mouth was.

N@: Just keep Dixie out of the White House.

MP: June Carter would have made a great President

MP: But her brother Billy maybe not

N@: You're one to talk, Piper.

N@: Seriously, your sister almost ruined Inspector Spacetime for me.

JK: Carter Country took place at Clinton Corners, Georgia, which, as we all know, is the place where Lyndon Johnson sold his soul to the devil in exchange for having white people rip off his music for generations to come.

MP: She's not my sister, she's just heavy

MP: Who can forget Lady "Free Bird" Johnson?

N@: No Hoosier or Celtic fan, certainly.

MP: Larry Bird who switched from basketball to baseball and then back to basketball again?

N@: Or "The Stilt" as they called him. I still can't believe he slept with THAT many women. I mean, I know he had a magic johnson, but nobody's that randy.

JK: Celtic fans remember her as "The Chief." It's a shame she's now selling exotic men's underwear on airplanes.

MP: I remember when he used to sell orange juice and luggage while running through airports

N@: Was kind of a shame when Dr. J set up those Orange Julius stands that put her out of business.

MP: Something about them making people foam at the mouth just turns people off I think...

JK: You guys hear who's opening for The Black Keys? The Free Association. Maybe they'll play "All Right Mary."

N@: At least they weren't made FROM people, like that place Mean Joe Green ran. *shudder*

MP: You mean the Soylent Green Shack?

N@: Too bad they couldn't reassemble the Fairport Report.

MP: Paul Rodgers could put Three's Company back together

N@: Nah, man. That would just be bad, bad news.

N@: Unless they play halftime for the Bears.

MP: Or maybe he could get together with Roger Waters...they could bill themselves as Roger and Rodgers

N@: I feel like that would muddy things.

MP: You know what they say...Muddy Waters runs deep

N@: Still? That was a looong time ago, man.

MP: Well, now it's more like six feet deep, but still...

MP: Now he's more like a rollin' stone

RD: I started to tune out when N@: started talking about Meredith Baxter. But I suspect he may have family ties. Where are we at again?

N@: Six feet deep? And rising?

MP: The Rolling Stones are in some Muddy Waters it seems

RD: I never really cared for his mustache, too creepy, but his movies are sometimes interesting.

N@: I still say with moves like Jagger, he should have handed the rest of the band their rolling papers and gone solo years ago.

N@: Yeah, Rex. He has a heavy Baltimora influence.

JK: I had a Soylent Green shack once, but the tin roof rusted. You guys want to get dinner at Rock Lobster later?

RD: I'm not really into rocks, but thanks.

N@: Only if it's the one in Red Rock

MP: We can take a B-52 to get there

N@: No way, man. You can't get there from here.

MP: Sure you can, just keep on truckin' on down that ol' white line

N@: Don't do it!

MP: Don't pay the ferryman?

N@: Christ, man. We ALMOST made it to 200 comments without a Styx reference. Domo arigatou, Mister assholo.

MP: Hey, my hands are clean...

N@: So can I Take You to the Pilate?

RD: On that note it's been the Best of Times, but I think it's High Time I bail out of this thread and get some work done. You know, for me, it's always Music Time, and since it's Friday and Nothing Ever Goes As Planned, I guess I'll ask my coworker to Sing For The Day in this Paradise that I know as Capitol Records.

MP: Enough heavy metal poisoning of my mind...I'm going to lunch.

RD: Everything Is Cool, Michael, Everything Is Cool.

MP: I'm taking Lorelei with me

JK: Aw, man, I missed this. That stynx.
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